Funkadelic Freestylings of another sort...

Woody Allen watched List

2012-02-11T14:52:00.002-07:00

First I want to start off this post by saying one of my absolute favorite things in life is being embargoed. I feel so cool when I have something and I am not allowed to share what it is for a couple days.

I had a crazy night of partying last night which is going to be followed by partying with the same group tonight so I won't say much. But we did talk Woody Allen and I've mentioned some Allen to others recently and so since I've watched a lot of Allen lately and I like making lists, here is my Movies seen and unseen list of Woody Allen. Also I should note I actually have around 50 of these lists for a lot of other directors of whom I really enjoy. List making is helping my movie watching. 23 seen, 23 unseen. 50% yeah!

Seen

1969 Take the Money and Run
1971 Bananas
1972 Everything You Always Wanted
to Know About Sex*
(*But Were Afraid to Ask)
1973 Sleeper
1975 Love and Death
1977 Annie Hall
1978 Interiors
1979 Manhattan
1980 Stardust Memories
1982 A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy
1983 Zelig
1986 Hannah and Her Sisters
1989 Crimes and Misdemeanors
1993 Manhattan Murder Mystery
1997 Deconstructing Harry
2000 Small Time Crooks
2001 The Curse of the Jade Scorpion
2002 Hollywood Ending
2003 Anything Else
2005 Melinda and Melinda
2008 Vicky Cristina Barcelona
2009 Whatever Works
2011 Midnight in Paris

Unseen

1966 What's Up, Tiger Lily?
1971 Men of Crisis: The Harvey Wallinger Story
1984 Broadway Danny Rose
1985 The Purple Rose of Cairo
1987 Radio Days
1987 September
1988 Another Woman
1989 New York Stories
1990 Alice
1992 Shadows and Fog
1992 Husbands and Wives
1994 Bullets Over Broadway
1994 Don't Drink the Water
1995 Mighty Aphrodite
1996 Everyone Says I Love You
1998 Celebrity
1999 Sweet and Lowdown
2001 Sounds from a Town I Love
2005 Match Point
2006 Scoop
2007 Cassandra's Dream
2010 You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
2012 Bop DeCameron

My favorites of the ones I've seen are probably Bananas, Zelig, Deconstructing Harry and Midnight in Paris.

Talkin' bout the Gym.

2012-02-10T02:03:00.002-07:00

I've become a regular gym goer and when you become a regular you start to notice the other regulars. One of the craziest things to me was some of those beautiful people that you seem to always see at the gym, most of them you only see once or twice ever, and if you do seem them again it's only once a week. Gym friends are an interesting breed because I don't really want to know any of them outside of the gym but I do see them every day. So some of the regulars I've gotten into the habit of at least saying hello each day and continuing to encourage them to keep coming. I think my favorite guy is the janitor, he's a latino fellow who doesn't speak much english, and I don't really speak any spanish but I made sure to start waving at him and now seeing him smile every day makes me just a little happier. If I don't initiate the hello he does it now so it's a nice little thing we got going. These people that you end up seeing every day you get to know little things about their life, there's a gay fellow in his late 30s who has two kids that I will often talk to in the hottub. There's a pretty muscular guy who I got to know about a year ago when we would throw a football in pool (usually around 3 am when no one else was there). I know he works late and so he usually comes in every day around 11 and stays til 2. Then there's the guy who's lost 40 pounds because he's trying to win a million dollars through jennie craig. I probably talk to the biker guy the most, the one who got into a car accident a number of years ago and had some brain damage. He's a good fella, often tells me the same things and he is super republican but in the gym you can't really fault people for that kind of stuff. I'm pretty bad with names so I don't actually know any of their names. The funny thing is there are only about 3 people from my outside of the gym life who I also randomly see at the gym, there's that one beefcake guy I met at one of those "real college parties" who's really into UFC. Another is my buddy Rob S. who always takes off his glasses to work out so he can never see me. And then once in a while I'll run into one of my best friend's step father Baha. But I don't usually go at the same time he does.

The gym is a really interesting place. I've been going now for about two years. In high school I was super skinny and could eat anything I wanted, my freshman year was when my metabolism slowed down and I started sleeping 17 hour nights. I can't do 17 anymore. I did 13 the other day but that was a fluke. I allowed myself to get heavy pretty much through depression and apathy. Now I want to get healthy but it's a lot harder to get healthy then to just maintain the health. Today was a very good day though. I ate only vegetables and peanut butter and blueberry jam sandwiches, and then I ran on the elliptical for a grand total of 10 miles. My cardio is doing awesome right now. I also did some weight lifting and swimming. The interesting thing is since I've been going to the gym so much I had to create some things to do. Over the past two years I've created the perfect workout mix. I go through my gigantic 200 GB worth of music and I can only have upbeat songs, even if I like them, I can't have songs which have a lot of silence, it's a big weeding out process but it's also caused me to really delve deep into a lot of the music I acquired from other friends and listen to a lot of stuff. It turns out I really like The Talking Heads, oh and I really hate Judas Priest. My whole collection is on my main computer but on my ipod is only stuff I can work out to. I make some really epic dance mixes now. Running to dance music is awesome.

The other thing which gymming allows me to do is think a lot. Today I was looking at my blog and I found a "hidden" blog I made in 2007, mostly just a place where I could put journal entries and anything I wanted to write that I didn't want other people to see. After reading those I realized I really was incredibly depressed in 07. I'm glad I pushed myself to move to Boston at that point cause it really helped me with a lot of my issues. It was fun looking at those though cause I had time to think on it while at the gym today and realize that though I still have a number of those problems, they don't effect me as much anymore. I feel a lot better about myself personally and so a lot of those things which drove me crazy no longer drive me crazy and some of those things I actually love about myself now. It was refreshing to get that kind of perspective especially since I had forgotten a lot of the things that happened back then. It also gave me some good material and so I day dreamed a bit today and worked through some more material for my eventual stand up comedy premier. It'll happen some day I hope. Mostly I just want to find some open mic night and do it there.

Now it's 2 am and I AM SO SORE RIGHT NOW. I ate at midnight and I have a rule to only go to bed 3 hours after I eat something so I've got another hour. I think I'll watch some more Cheers. I'm currently in the ninth season. The first season was by far and away the best season. Since then it's sorta dropped in quality as each season progresses, now it's gotten a bit hard to watch sometimes but overall I do still like the show, and I am close to finishing. Right now the best characters are Frasier and Lilith. After Cheers it's on to Frasier.

For those who TL,DR: I ran 10 miles at the gym.

Va Va Va Valentines Da Da Da Day

2012-02-08T17:24:00.003-07:00

Apparently Valentine's Day is next week. Relationship blog posts are probably the number one topic of all of my past entries combined. Hey, I'm doing Statistic stuff in school right now maybe I should see what the actual stats are on that. Relationship and love and all that stuff are just so much fun to talk/gripe about. I've always been a bit of a complainer and the blarg is the perfect place to complain. I've actually never been in a relationship on Valentine's Day which isn't too surprising but as my family doesn't really like holidays too much I often forget it actually exists. At least until I get the annual Valentine's email from my friend giving me the actual history with all the war and blood and death.

One Valentine's day I remember with fondness was in high school when I went to the valentine's dance with the best friend of the girl I had a crush on. Which if you think about it, is a completely stupid thing for a high school boy to do, "Oh I like your best friend but I feel like I've been on too many dates with her, let's go on a date instead." If it wasn't high school I would have been liable to get my knees broken for pulling those shenanigans.

This particular gripe is going to go to one Amy H. Amy was this girl I was friends with in high school, one such friend who doesn't want anything to do with me now a days, of course she's become super duper religiosity, and since I am a long-hair this is a no go. Anyways, if you're not aware I went to high school in Utah Valley, a place where dating is a silly thing. (I don't really understand how to date in Utah, I've dated plenty of people outside of the state (Wow I sound like my girlfriend lives in Canada (Did I tell you I might go to grad school in Canada? (That would be sweet.))))

Anyways in Utah high school we had more then just Homecoming and Prom dances, we had like 9 dances a year, one per month minus summer. I was a youth of sexual desire, and so it was known to me that if you take girls to those dances you might get a girlfriend. But I didn't really want to go to all of them, but that Amy, she guilted me, "But what about the girls who desperately want to go and don't get asked? Don't they deserve to go?" Oh man, she was good, I complained to her that on dates where girls asked I didn't get asked and she was like, "The man is the one who asks, girls don't need to ask." Oh man, Amy, you weaselly girl you. I honestly can't remember most of the dates I went on in high school.

The best one I went on however was one I went with Megan L, a crush I had my senior year. If I'd have known how dating worked I'm fairly certain we actually would have dated, but alas I just couldn't figure it out. On that date we got ourselves stuck in a tube slide and talked for like 3 hours with our bodies intertwined. It was pretty awesome. 17 year old me is giving my a thumbs up right now. I've tried finding Megan L since then but she's impossible to find. She probably got married and doesn't list her last name on facebook. Le sigh.

I'll probably talk more about VDay at some point this week. But for now... class.

TL,DR: I talk about slides.

2011 Movie List

2012-02-07T13:18:00.002-07:00

One of the best things I did was joining this one movie forum site where they have us make all sorts of lists. Well here for you and me to have a handy other place to keep it is my list of movies I first watched in 2011 in order of preference. It has the movie Director and year it was put out. Keeping track of this stuff is fun. And in case you're like, what is this Abraxas movie I can't find it on imdb, it was at sundance last year, a great Japanese movie about a guitarist in a punk band that turned himself into a monk but started finding he needed music to survive so as a monk he put on a punk concert. With how important music is to me it sang to my soul.

1. Abraxas (Naoki Katô 10)
2. Infernal Affairs (Andrew Lau 02)
3. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (Mamoru Hosoda 06)
4. Midnight in Paris (Woody Allen 11)
5. Zelig (Woody Allen 83)
6. The Social Network (David Fincher 10)
7. The King's Speech (Tom Hooper 10)
8. Love Exposure (Sion Sono 08)
9. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Brad Bird 11)
10. The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (Joseph Sargent 74)
11. High Noon (Fred Zinnemann 52)
12. Thor (Kenneth Branagh 11)
13. Chicago (Rob Marshall 02)
14. Rango (Gore Verbinski 11)
15. Manhattan (Woody Allen 79)
16. Hannah and Her Sisters (Woody Allen 86)
17. Run Ronnie Run (Troy Miller 03)
18. X-Men: First Class (Matthew Vaughn 11)
19. Bridesmaids (Paul Feig 11)
20. Source Code (Duncan Jones 11)
21. Megamind (Tom McGrath 10)
22. Escape From New York (John Carpenter 81)
23. Horrible Bosses (Seth Gordon 11)
24. Captain America (Joe Johnston 11)
25. Tangled (Nathan Greno and Byron Howard 10)
26. The Lady Eve (Preston Sturges 41)
27. The Italian Job (Peter Colinson 69)
28. The Killing (Stanley Kubrick 56)
29. Stardust Memories (Woody Allen 80)
30. Role Models (David Wain 08)
31. Big Trouble In Little China (John Carpenter 86)
32. A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (Woody Allen 82)
33. The A-Team (Joe Carnahan 10)
34. Big Fan (Robert D. Siegel 09)
35. Conan O'Brien Can't Stop (Rodman Flender 11)
36. A Serious Man (Coens 09)
37. Interiors (Woody Allen 78)
38. Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Michael Apted 10)
39. Lethal Weapon (Richard Donner 87)
40. The Captains (William Shatner 11)
41. Green Lantern (Martin Campbell 11)
42. Murder By Death (Robert Moore 76)
43. Romancing The Stone (Robert Zemeckis 84)
44. Manhattan Murder Mystery (Woody Allen 93)
45. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 (David Yates 11)
46. The Adjustment Bureau (George Nolfi 11)
47. The Transporter 3 (Oliver Megaton 08)
48. 127 Hours (Danny Boyle 10)
49. The Other Guys (Adam McKay 10)
50. The Incredible Hulk (Louis Leterrier 08)
51. Flash Gordon (Mike Hodges 80)
52. In Time (Andrew Niccol 11)
53. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 (David Yates 10)
54. Spy Kids (Robert Rodriguez 01)
55. Mystery Team (Dan Eckman 09)
56. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (James Cameron 91)
57. The Transporter (Louis Leterrier and Corey Yuen 02)
58. Paul (Greg Mottola 11)
59. 40 Year Old Virgin (Judd Apatow 05)
60. Thunderball (Terrence Young 65)
61. Friends With Benefits (Will Gluck 11)
62. Breast Picture (Jonathan Smith 10)
63. Avalon High (Stuart Gillard 10)
64. Operation Endgame (Fouad Mikati 10)
65. Brain Candy (Kelly Makin 96)
66. Ocean's Eleven (Lewis Milestone 60)
67. The Terminator (James Cameron 84)
68. The Green Hornet (Michel Gondry 11)
69. Dr. No (Terrence Young 62)
70. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (Mike Newell 10)
71. Red (Robert Schwentke 10)
72. Hot Tub Time Machine (Steve Pink 10)
73. Superman 2 (Richard Lester 80)
74. I Am Number 4 (D.J. Caruso 11)
75. Hall Pass (Farrelly Brothers 11)
76. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (Kevin Smith 01)
77. The Transporter 2 (Louis Leterrier 05)
78. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Michael Bay 09)
79. The Next Three Days (Paul Haggis 10)
80. Sleep With Me (Rory Kelly 94)
81. A Dirty Shame (John Waters 04)
82. Sex and Breakfast (Miles Brandman 07)
83. Group Sex (Lawrence Trilling 10)
84. High School Musical (Kenny Ortega 06)
85. Meet The Parents (Jay Roach 00)
86. Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel (Brigitte Berman 10)

Why I (for the most part) stopped using facebook

2012-02-06T15:04:00.005-07:00

I love Karaoke. But as many know I am also a comedian by trade and when I do some sort of performance even if it's karaoke I have to put on a show. I can't just get up and sing Piano Man because everyone sings Piano Man. So I have a couple of choice hits that I will sing when I feel like doing Karaoke. Probably my favorite song to do straight just like the artist is Cameo's Word Up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZjAantupsA

That is the music video of it in case you don't know the song, it's pretty awesome. Also it has Levar Burton for some reason. But as I was saying I like to do performances, this all started when I discovered the words of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. I would read them in a fashion like William Shattner that would result in my sobbing on the floor at the end. After this I came to find many girl singers tended to have pretty awesome lyrics when sung by a man. The one which really hit the spot though was Natalie Imbruglia's Torn. I mean look at these lyrics:

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm - he came around like
He was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know - don't seem to care
What your heart is for
No I don't know him anymore

There's nothin' where we used to lie
Conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine

I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am chained
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm cold and I am shamed and bound
And broken on the floor
And I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

Now imagine this song being sung by a guy who looks like a football lineman and I'm not singing them, I'm yelling them, screaming the words to the world because I, the giant standing before you is torn. Yeah, it becomes quite an impressive spectacle. But the thing which really puts it into overdrive is this line:

I'm cold and I am chained
Lying naked on the floor

Obviously I can't get naked on the dance floor, but what I can do is lie on the floor and unbutton my shirt as I cry out the lyrics like a beached whale. It gets a lot of drunk people hootin' an' hollerin'.

-----

Let's change gears here for a moment. (Wow this is a long post and still has nothing to do with the title. At least not that is apparent.) I'm a husky fella, but over the past couple years I've really been working on it, not very successfully but I still have been going to the gym quite a bit and trying to diet. My cardio is actually really good right now. But what the gym really helped me with was taking my shirt off. The first year of gymming I could never take off my shirt even in the pool, I've always had somewhat of a shame about my body as many people do, but as I was in the gym pretty much every day at the same time I began to not really care anymore. I took off my shirt and now it's no problem. Flashforward to now and I don't give a shit, I can take off my shirt at any function if it comes to that. As a for instance this slip and slide 4th of July party:

Yeah, sexy man doing some curling.

-----

So where does this all bring us? Well one of the reasons why I stopped blogging as well as all the other internet stuff is over the past couple years I've had a number of significant lifestyle changes. What this means is for instance let's say I'm on facebook and I post a line previously seen in this post, "I don't give a shit." There would be a great many people on facebook who would be offended. I'm not saying it's a bad thing or whatnot, it's simply my life has changed in ways in which I know if I were to post about would burn bridges here and there and I don't really want to deal with that kind of stuff. I'm the type who can talk with someone about in person but little sentence facebook bullshit will tear my heart asunder. <--- Yeah! Asunder.

But what was the moment which made me decide facebook simply wasn't worth it? So I had just done my Karaoke version of Torn, everyone was laughing and cheering. I got high fives afterwards and man was I having a fun time. 20 minutes later I receive a text from my dad, "What on earth are you up to?"

"Just doing Karaoke with some friends," I reply.

"Well grandma called us up because she got on the internet and found a picture of you with your shirt off and she was very upset."

.....

Within minutes of doing something very fun and not at all harmful someone in the crowd takes a picture, uploads it to facebook, tags me, my grandma sees it and gets very upset. I get a couple messages from past friends telling me they are disappointed at my behavior, my friends on facebook drops about 8 people that day. All because I took of my shirt at a gathering with friends. So from that point on I thought, "Why am I even on facebook when within twenty minutes you can have a whole heap of drama?"

Of course whenever I share this story the first thing anyone says is, "You know you can just change your privacy settings." How much drama does everyone have on facebook and can it ever all be solved from just changing privacy settings? But more to the point do I really want my life to be so interconnected that everything I do and say is judged within seconds by a random smattering of peers from different points in my life?

I don't like people not liking me, but if it means hating myself I just gotta live with it and do what makes me happy.

For those who TLDR: in this post I get naked and listen to Cameo's Word Up.

No I don't have Cancer

2012-02-05T15:02:00.002-07:00

Wow, what a depressing post to end my blog on for forever. I don't have cancer but I probably will at some point in my life. Ha Ha! Genetics!

Surgery Today

2010-08-20T07:16:00.001-06:00

Short answer: I might have melanoma, they're going to take out the moles today and then test them to see if any further work needs to be done. Prayers or good vibes appreciated.

The Dating Chameleon and How I Have Changed

2010-08-19T09:11:00.002-06:00

I once got into an argument with someone when I made the statement that I could never date someone who didn't like the movie "Wizard People Dear Reader". When it comes to this fact, I am deathly serious. I will not date someone who doesn't enjoy "Wizard People Dear Reader", I have seen the movie nearly 50 times and can quote most of the movie word for word. It is a big part of my humor and my humor is very important to me. Utah is an interesting place when it comes to dating and it's only been in the past couple years when I've gotten to know how to date in a healthy manner have I figured out why for the most part I can not engage in dating in Utah.

About a week ago I dumped a girl. We had gone on a date or two, she was cute, we had a lot of things in common but something was off and I couldn't get past it. That something was something I've started calling "The Chameleon Factor." Utah has a very interesting hold over the world of dating, there is an overall feeling that if you are older then 25 and still single then there is something wrong with you, that you have no chance to find someone you want and you should just settle. Because of this, many people get married between 19 and 24. This is not necessarily a commentary on the age of people getting married, just a statement indicating that the majority of people around here subscribe to this information. Because of this, many people are desperate to find someone to date. This girl I had gone a couple of dates with was that same way, incredibly desperate to find someone to date. It quickly became apparent that it didn't really matter who I was, just that I was a guy showing some amount of interest. It didn't matter whether or not I liked movies, what my political or religious affiliations were, none of that mattered, all that mattered was I was a guy showing interest in her. I even decided to see if I could test that, I looked on her facebook page, found a band she liked and then the next time I saw her, brought up music and said how I disliked the band, she quickly agreed that they were no good. She didn't care about standing up for things she liked because a guy was showing interest in dating her. She changed herself in order to continue to have a chance at dating me.

This "Chameleon Factor" is not just relevant in Utah but tends to be relevant among any grouping where the males or females are a large majority to the other. I have a friend named K. who lives in Salt Lake City and she is a geek girl. She plays video games, she reads comic books, she watches tv shows, she dresses up and does Live Action Role Playing. Oh yeah, and she's really quite attractive. Anytime she posts something on facebook her comments section goes upwards of 50 comments, and she constantly complains of guys who have no social sense becoming incredibly awkward and just wanting to date her. The geek girl is a sought after person among Geek Men, who for the most part have little ability socially. To them it doesn't really matter the name of the geek girl, just simply that she is a geek girl and that is all they need. They come in droves trying to get the girl to date them but usually without ever stating their intention to date just sort of looming around waiting for the girl to make the move. They don't care what the girl thinks, the geek men hound the girl until they become paranoid and it makes it hard for them to actually date a guy because everyone has basically come before just wanting to date the idea of the girl, not the actual girl themselves.

This seems to come from desperate people who just want to date. You can usually spot them when the type of guy or girl they bring over is always random, only very small connections. They don't really state what they want in a person they date because they don't want to leave anyone out. They miss the entire point of dating, because they really just want someone to love them, but they don't realize that by having no qualifications, does not make the other person feel loved at all. In Utah this tends to be a very large majority of single people, they don't really care who they date, they just believe that they'll find someone who is semi interested and together they'll somehow work out. What this does is it screws over the rest of us, because if we are single we need to somehow let it be known that we are not of the same species as them, we need to let someone know early on how we actually have the ability to discern between people and say no to people who aren't good for us. And often if we don't get it out early enough we become an "assumed Chameleon" and are treated in much the same regard as an actual dating chameleon is.

In the past year and a half since I have been back in Utah I have counted about 9 to 10 girls that I've had some sort of interest in. About 6 of them I've been on dates with. 4 of them I stopped the dating process because I knew we wouldn't work out, 2 of them stopped the process, 1 of those two she just stopped it before I could, the other I was caught by surprise only to find out a couple days later she found someone else and I was the "dug out" boy (Basically the guy she would go out with if her first choice didn't work out). All 10 of the girls I have had similar interests in and some amount of communication. Because I won't go on dates with girls that I don't have similar interests in. I won't become a chameleon for dating.

The funny thing is, a couple of years ago this would not have been the case, I was a Chameleon, I didn't care, I just wanted to date someone and if any type of girl came along and said she wanted to date me I probably would have. This desperation was easily seen by girls and so I never found anyone to date. People told me how to fix this, they said to improve myself, I didn't really believe them until now when I've actually done so. Over the past 2 and a half years I have greatly improved my life as a single person, so much so that I really like my life without a girlfriend. So much so that I've gotten to the point where I would rather be single then be in a bad relationship. My life right now is a good mix of getting stuff done with doing well in school and doing well with friends. The girl I dumped the other day, I did for a moment consider having a relationship, but I knew if I did I would have to sacrifice much of what makes my life so awesome right now. Because of this I am looking for someone who molds well with my friends, because I can't date someone who doesn't. I came to a good realization as I was working out the other day, I treat someone who I want to date in the same way that I treat someone I want to become a friend with. My number one motivation is the level of communication. I have friends and girlfriends based on communication, what I need and what I want is someone in whom I can communicate with better then anyone else. But this is not just solely limited to a significant other, I treat people I want to be friends with the same way, I become friends with them because we have good levels of communication. People in whom I have a tough time communicating with are people who I tend to lose interest in as a friend or lover, this is why for the most part I hate texting, because I can't get good conversations with texting. Most chameleons have a hard time with good conversations because they're not willing to take a stance on something, thus they end up screwing themselves over.

I think one of the biggest reasons why I'm still single is because I haven't found someone who I communicate with on that kind of level. I have some best friends who I can communicate with really well. My girlfriend in Boston, our communication skills with each other were incredibly good and we ended with a good breakup because we discussed why we didn't work out and both agreed upon it. I'm now going into Psychology because I like figuring out things and communicating those things to others. I have had an easier time dating out of state because there is less desperation laid on like syrup then there is here. I would imagine some small towns would have the same thing which is probably one of the reasons I like bigger towns more. This whole posting is not to say I don't want a girlfriend, because I would love to find someone who loved me and I loved her, but I'm willing to be patient, and I'm willing to wait if needs be. But I'm also willing to take risks now, because I want to find that person because our lives would be awesome together. I don't just want a girlfriend, I want people in my life who I can communicate with and have fun with, and from them, I want to find someone that I can communicate with and have fun with better then anyone else. Then I'll have found her.

Revisiting

2010-08-18T10:09:00.002-06:00

So I randomly was looking up old people on facebook today and found someone who I hadn't thought of in years. I looked her up and her blog was posted and I remember reading her blog and thought, I should check on my google reader, I was quite surprised that there are still many of the old people who used to blog who are still blogging, probably now with new people reading and commenting to keep them happy. Obviously I haven't done it in quite a long time and probably won't again, but I thought I'd write a little something just because I remembered this time of my life for a moment today.

Personal Fitness and Beyond

2010-01-05T00:31:00.003-07:00

I've long since been of the opinion that the only real way in which someone can achieve real weight loss is through the help of a personal trainer. I recently got a gym pass and met with a personal trainer today. It was quite awesome and a good way for me to start my eventual weight loss. Reason why I have the Utah Fash logo though is at my gym I found a free ticket to a recent Flash game. For those who don't know the Utah Flash are a NBA Development league team. So I was seated three rows from the court. It was a really fun game and got me hyped to go to the gym. So I'm doing a lot of new things in 2010 which might actually mean a return to blogging.

Puffins

2009-05-14T18:16:00.000-06:00

Two guys sit with their laptops.

1: Dude, the coordinated content this week is Penguins.
2: I love Puffins.
1: Yeah, they're so cool, all black and white and wait, what?
2: Puffins, they're awesome.
1: No dude, the coordinated content is on Penguins.
2: Did you know in New England they have their own cereal?
1: Penguins?
2: It's called Puffins. It's so delicious.
1: Dude, we're not talking about Puffins here, you gotta think of something about Penguins.
2: Okay so two Puffins walk into a bar...
1: Are you even listening to me?
2: Yeah dude, I've been listening to every word you've been saying. The coordinated content this week is on Puffins.
1: Penguins!
2: Yeah, Puffins.
1: Dude seriously. This is getting ridiculous.
2: What is? You don't want to do the coordinated content?
1: Of course I do!
2: Well then I'll leave you be, come up with something awesome for Puffins and we'll read each other's when we're done.
1: Alrighty, we'll do that.
2: Yes I am looking particularly attractive today thanks.
1: Um I didn't say that.
2: Dude, don't be down on yourself, there has to be a second place.
1: Okay seriously now you're starting to piss me off.
2: Look if you want me to write you a second Puffin piece I can do that.
1: Augh!
2: Dude, calm down. I don't know what you're getting mad at me for.
1: Bloom County.
2: Huh?
1: Bloom County, Opus, what is he?
2: A Penguin.
1: and we're doing coordinated content on...
2: Puffins. Okay, seriously you're creeping me out, good luck.

2 leaves the room.

1: I will kill him one day.

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Davey Morrison, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, and William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden. This week's theme: 'Penguins'.

Free Chair

2009-04-23T03:59:00.000-06:00

I had an interesting day today. I sometimes get to the point where I want each day to matter for something. I know something big is coming up and so I'll have something to work towards. Even on other days I have a new friendship I want to try out and see if it'll work or and old friend to rekindle with. But sometimes there are days where nothing of note happens. Today started out as one of those days and boy howdy I was not happy about it. I had made a somewhat costly mistake the night before which had caused me to need to stay up extra late to get it fixed. Luckily it was fixed but by the time I woke up the next morning the whole day had been shot. So I thought I would at least try and find a friend to have fun with, but all of them seemed to be busy with something or I had felt like I had overstayed my welcome by hanging out with other's too often so I was at a loss of what to do. I drove around for a while hoping something would come up and nothing did. So I parked and I felt like walking. I walked for nearly an hour just thinking about life and how it was hard having days like that day where you really are out of control and you can't find anything of which to put forth any effort into.

But then on my walk I spotted something which gave me a great idea. It was a single chair next to a dumpster and it had a piece of paper taped to it with the word "Free" on it. I moved the chair to a corner near by and I sat down in the chair and I read a book. It was nice, the air was tasty and the temp was cool. I finished the book and a friend of mine was walking past. I got to meet their family and then I met up with another friend who's getting married soon. I pulled out my computer and decided to get some writing done. I wrote two screenplays and came up with some ideas for others I want to do. I wrote on facebook and gmail that I was sitting on the corner and that people should come and visit. Soon three of my good friends were there and we were just chatting on the corner as I sat in the free chair. When we felt like we were done I got up and left the chair there and we walked back and had good conversations before I came home for the night.

It was so nice because I had been pissed and stressed about not having anything productive and fulfilling to do and with the help of a free chair, and random wandering about I had found plenty of things to do and found that I could lure friends out to random corners just to see a free chair that I was sitting in and have some good conversation with friends. And that is the story of the free chair. I'm thinking if I have time tomorrow I might go back and see if it's there and read another book. It was a good chair.

The Greatest Day Ever

2009-04-23T03:58:00.000-06:00

Jeff is in the living room playing video games. His friend Tom bursts into the apartment really excited.

Tom: Dude, I had the greatest day ever?
Jeff: Oh?
Tom: Like seriously, it was the greatest day ever.
Jeff: What happened?
Tom: So I went to the vending machine at school and I put it 60 cents for a candy bar and THREE Candy bars fell out!
Jeff: Okay.
Tom: Three!
Jeff: Yeah.
Tom: So, I had the greatest day ever.
Jeff: Because you paid 60 cents for three candy bars?
Tom: 20 cents each! I totally cheated the system!
Jeff: Is that it?
Tom: Is that it? Is that it? Dude, that's it, and it was awesome.
Jeff: That does not sound the greatest day ever. It sounds like something cool happened but there are so many other things which could classify as the best thing ever.
Tom: You do realize I've been incarcerated as a Prisoner of War for the past 10 years and I just got out this morning right?
Jeff: Oh yeah, I forgot, this must be the best day ever then.
Tom: Yes, indeed.

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Davey Morrison, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'The Greatest Day Ever'.

The Sun

2009-04-19T14:19:00.000-06:00

The sun rises over a really green meadow. The face of a disheveled 30 year old is inside of the sun. He sees the camera and starts to shout.

Sun: Hey! Hey! You! You with the camera! Keep me company!

The camera starts to turn away.

Off screen: I'll give you heat stroke if you don't come over here!

The camera turns back onto the sun.

Sun: Thank you, Jeez. So I guess you don't remember me. Since no one looks at me now a days, something about retinas detaching, but I'm the Sun. Did you ever watch PBS? You know that show with those furry things with tvs in their stomachs? Do you remember the sun laughing as a little child? Well that was me. They made me laugh. But whoever was the numbskull who put me in the sun I'll never know. You know how much it sucks to be the Sun? I'm a joke. I can learn things okay, I can hear you scampering around down there and I hear your languages, but you know what sucks, I have no body. No arms, no legs. I sit around all day and watch you people. It would at least be nice if you pointed a big tv at me, that way I'd be entertained like you people. But no, I have to be here with an itch on my nose and never scratch it. You know how dirty my hair is? I don't know how dirty it is, but it itches a lot.

The camera starts to pull away.

Sun: Hey I'm not done talking to you yet!

The camera runs away.

Sun: You can't run from me.

A voice is heard: Ouch!

The camera falls to the ground revealing the camera man, he is sunburnt.

Sun: Yeah take that douche bag!

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Davey Morrison, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'The Sun'.

Dream: Apr. 17

2009-04-17T09:26:00.001-06:00

I had a dream last night where I was working for my former job, and we were supposed to take the kids to the moon. But because I had already been to the moon as a kid I didn't really want to go, plus because I remembered the first time and how sick I got on the ride there, I really didn't want to go, so I told my boss I couldn't go cause I knew I would get too sick. He finally let me not go but he seemed sorely disappointed in me that I wasn't willing to go to the moon.

Su**er

2009-04-09T15:43:00.001-06:00

A large group is together in front of a stage. On top of the stage is a dinner table with different foods and four plates. An MC gets up as the crowd starts to cheer, he gets on the microphone.

MC: Is everyone ready?

The crowd cheers louder.

MC: Here we are, one and all, welcome to, "The Last Supper!"

The crowd continues to cheer.

Two Men and Two women get on stage they wave to the crowd and they sit down and start to eat.

MC: Now for those who are not aware, this is officially the retirement of the term supper! From now on it will always be dinner. Supper is too old a term and thus needs to be retired!

The crowd hoots and hollers.

Time passes and the foursome finish the meal.

MC: And there goes the last drumstick and yes can it be, he says he's full! There you have it folks the Last Supper! We can't ever use that word again! It's dinner now. Dinner!

The crowd starts chanting Dinner Dinner Dinner.

MC: Hooray for the conquering Dinner!

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'A Last Su**er'.

Laundromat

2009-04-02T07:20:00.000-06:00

Short due to being in Nebraska. Zing.

1: Dude I'm going to go have sex in a laundromat.
2: With a girl you know?
1: No dude, a random chick, laundromat sex is hot.
2: Heh, good one.
1: No I'm serious.
2: Oh. Um, you know we live in Nebraska right?
1: Yeah, so?
2: And you still want to do this?
1: Of course.
2: Alright, go dig your own grave.

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Laundromat'.

Dead Names

2009-03-26T12:24:00.001-06:00

Eric is sitting on his couch playing video games when Doug bursts in with a teenage girl.

Doug: Dude you won't believe it.
Eric: That you scored a teenager?
Doug: No dude, not just any teenager.
Eric: Wait I was joking when I said score.
Doug: Well I didn't really score her, but I found her and you gotta check this out.
Eric: What?
Doug: Guess what her name is?
Eric: Sarah?
Doug: No dude, oh man I can't even tell you how cool this is, it's Eleanor!
Eric: Okay...
Doug: Dude, how many Eleanors do you know?
Eric: I think I had a great grandma Eleanor.
Doug: Exactly. It's an old person name. Only old people have the name, it's a dead name like the dead sea scrolls or dead languages. Dead, dude, Dead!
Eleanor: Can I go now?
Doug: No hold on, See Eric? Do you see what this means?
Eric: Not really.
Doug: It means dead names are coming back!
Eric: Okay...
Doug: So, do you realize what this means? I can go get myself a name change.
Eric: And what do you want to call yourself?
Doug: Mortimer.
Eric: Mortimer?
Doug: I'm gonna do it.
Eric: Alright, but you're gonna look foolish.
Doug: What? Why?
Eric: Well you see this girl, Eleanor, how old are you Eleanor.
Eleanor: 16. Can I go now?
Eric: Yeah get outta here.

Eleanor leaves.

Eric: She's 16, you're 25.
Doug: So?
Eric: So dead names are back as of 16 year olds. You come in a 25 year old Mortimer and you're going to be laughed at and ridiculed.
Doug: Oh no.
Eric: So if you really want Mortimer, you have to find someone your age with a dead name.
Doug: I understand. I'm off!

Doug starts to leave.

Eric: You know...
Doug: What?
Eric: I haven't seen you in like a year.
Doug: I know, but once I find a 25 year old we can hang out again.
Eric: Alright...

Doug Leaves.

Eric: Mortmer...

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Eleanor'.

Like a butterfly

2009-03-19T10:51:00.001-06:00

One guy is sunbathing and is burnt to a crisp, a second guy comes into the scene.

Second: Uh dude, shouldn't you stop?
Burned: No way man, I'm totally going to stop doing hard drugs.
S: Isn't this more like you are doing hard drugs?
B: Well I did come up with it while on drugs, but I've been wanting to quit.
S: By soaking up some rays?
B: Yeah, cause I was talking to Steve and he was telling me how you know there's metamorphosis among insects and they change from a crappy insect into a cool one.
S: Yeah, so?
B: So, I'm metamorphasizing.
S: No dude, what you're doing is photosynthesis.
B: OH.... Dammit.

End

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Metamorphosis'.

I Wish This Made Sense

2009-03-12T03:27:00.001-06:00

Franklin D. Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln all sit against a wall with guns in their hands. Lincoln is badly injured.

FDR: Lincoln, you okay?
Lincoln: Yeah, I'll be fine. You sure we're safe here?
Jeff: I'm sure, no one has been here for years.
Lincoln: To think, that the world could get this bad. Wait a second, where's Washington?
Jeff: He's not here?
FDR: Dammit he was right behind me.
Jeff: I'm going to go back out there and get him.
FDR: NO! It's a suicide mission.
Jeff: I can't just leave him, he's the most valuable of us all!
FDR: No Jefferson, if this economy is to survive, we have to survive. You want us to be taken over by the indians? Is that it? Willing to sacrifice yourself?
Jeff: I already let that happen once, and I'm not going to let it happen again!
Lincoln: Don't worry, we'll do okAY.
Jefferson and FDR both look at Lincoln. FDR pulls at Lincoln's beard and it comes right off.
FDR: Oh man, we've got a canadian, when did that switch happen.
Lincoln: What's this all aboot?
FDR: Hey, shut up and make some sense.
Lincoln: But I can only make one...
FDR raises his gun and shoots him in the head.
Jeff: Thank you, I hate those things.
FDR: Don't mention it, but look, we've got to do something or we're both screwed.
Jeff: Don't worry, we're almost to Denver. We can make it, I know we can. We just have to make sure no one else can get a hold of us, or we're done for.
FDR: Okay, let's get going.
Jeff: No wait stop!
FDR stops instantly.
Jeff: Heh, I've always wanted to say that to you.
FDR: Oh I oughta!

FDR and Jefferson exit the cabin.

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Poverty'.

The Weird State of Television

2009-03-09T02:54:00.002-06:00

Many who know me know of my love of Television. The television show is probably my favorite medium in all of media and so I've become someone who watches just about everything. I will try just about every show and see how it is and if it's of interest to me I'll keep going. I've been doing this for about two years now and one thing which I never really noticed up until this point is how many shows don't last. From what I can tell, this is because of two sets of people. The big Television Networks, and the semi-fans.

The Television Networks. We all know the big television networks. ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX. These ones are the powerhouses. Pilots come to these guys and they go through extensive processes until they are eventually shown. Most shows seem to go through these channels, and a lot of them get cancelled. One of the big things is ratings, and currently the internet doesn't count towards ratings, only the good old fashioned watching them when they air. Not even DVR viewings count right now. When DVR and Internet viewings begin to count, I'm predicting in probably a year or so, then shows will start to thrive again. Online communities will actually be able to do something for shows. At least that's what I hope. But some people are being smart, and they're going elsewhere. One of the biggest shows on television now is Battlestar Gallactica which made the smart move in going to the Sci Fi network. A network which would never cancel your show. Sure the big four have bigger budgets but they also have greater risk. USA has Monk, Pysch and now Burn Notice. CW (formerly the WB) lasted well because of Buffy and Angel. Don't worry, I'll talk about our pal Wheadon a little later. Now it does well on shows like Gossip Girl and Reaper. There are even smart people like Adam De La Pena, a man who tried with the bigger of the comedy channels Adult Swim and Comedy Central with short lived shows Minoriteam and I'm With Busey. Both did okay but not well enough on the big channels so he went to the then all video game channel G4 and did the show Code Monkeys which has done really well on that channel. Good solid shows are starting to show up on these lower channels because they know it's too high a risk on the networks. But alas, I must say it's not just the networks fault.

The Semi-Fans. We have an epidemic in television right now. The Semi-fans or the Bandwagon fans. They're unwittingly changing the rules for television and making it a lot harder to get a show to work. There are two shows which have already started to fall into this line and I can only see it growing. Arrested Development and Firefly. Most of you reading this love both of these shows, and hey, I do too. We all do, and we all think, "oh why did these shows get cancelled." Well they got cancelled because no one watched them. Sure with something like Firefly you can say the network screwed it, and yes, it did, but in the same token, how many of you would have even known about the show or even given it a chance if it had run in order? How many fans of the show found out about the show after it was off the air? Now Arrested Development, same question, how many fans of the show began fighting for it when it was doing it's last run of episodes, or even after it aired started yelling for change. The thing is, the average tv viewer doesn't come easy, they fight. They fight everyone hard to not allow themselves to be sucked into a show. The US Office didn't even really gain it's following until the second season or mostly it's third. TV fans don't want TV shows, it's as simple as that. Only after someone they trust sits them down and force feeds it to them do they start to like it. I can think of five people, some in whom might even read this blog who I specifically told after the first season of Arrested Development to watch that show. All of whom blew me off and all of whom are two years after that fact bigger fans of the show then I am. One of those people even said they had watched an episode and thought it was stupid.

So what happens with these fans? Let's take Joss Wheadon for a moment. Mr. Wheadon is the man who brought us such shows as Buffy, Angel, Firefly and currently Dollhouse. You'd have to be living under a rock to not know who this guy is. Currently this guy has a very big fan base of semi-fans. Mostly people who don't want to admit they like tv and will only watch his shows. Here's where the problem lies. Firefly was a beautiful show, and it went the rounds once on dvd, friends showed friends who became huge fans. People cried because of the characters. The show became their first tv hit. Then they stopped watching tv again, Dr. Horrible came out and they went Ga-Ga over it, and rightly so, it was a good thing which came out at a fantastic time. But then came Dollhouse. Did anyone watch My Own Worst Enemy? Haven't heard of it? It came out about 6 months ago and had a very similar plot and did it really well, but no one really heard of it and it died, because no one gave it a chance. Now Dollhouse comes out with a very similar plot but comes with bad reviews and fans are grabbing hold and not letting go. Because they love Wheadon. But yet they aren't willing to touch any other show even if it's better, because it's not Wheadon. Now here's where the problem comes in, if you followed that. Show dies, becomes huge and then show's creator becomes big and then gets free show. Pushing Daisies looks like it will do the same thing, it started to gain traction before it died but in DVD sales it'll be huge. The creators will likely make something else in a year or two and it'll become big. So do we need to have shows which are good die? These fans seem to think so. Only after it dies can it become good.

So what can be done? Semi-fans will always be semi-fans. They dislike television as a whole. The thought of being a television watcher is not what they want. They want to be contributing members of society and they don't want to get into television. That's fine, they should at least have a friend who knows their tastes and can tell them what to watch. A TV reviewer is a good thing, read someone's TV review each week, a quick read and see if there's anything new that sounds like something you'd like. Don't be afraid to try an episode if it sounds intriguing. And don't wait until someone has to force feed it down your throat. If they're doing that, the show is already dead. For instance here's one, if you're still reading this, go watch Reaper. Do it now. You will like it, and it will stay fresh and can easily stay long term. Go check it out, the first season is on dvd, it's super good. There, now don't fight it, because I'm sure after it's dead some other friend will force you to watch it and you'll love it and you'll forget I told you to watch it because semi-fans, that's what they do. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong by watching a good show.

That there is my tv rant. Shows will come and go, some will be good, some won't. But that's what tv reviewers are there for, to tell you whether or not you'll like it.

Wealth, Death and Prosperity

2009-03-05T03:23:00.000-07:00

A detective sits in his office, there is a board with a couple faces on it, a second detective comes in and puts another face on the board.

1: Don't tell me.
2: Yeah, another death.
1: You've got to be kidding me, don't these people know anything about Physics?
2: They just fall into his trap.
1: Yes.

The scene gets a close up on his face as the rest of the scene goes dark, there is an image of a shadow behind the man as he begins to describe.

1: He promises them power, and mostly he promises them wealth. Prosperity in this soulless economy, and yet all he really wants is for them to die. He truly is a mass murder.

It goes back to the regular scene.

2: It's the perfect plan, because technically it's all suicide.
1: Yes, everyone of them have broken necks and broken arms, and they're doing it themselves. They kill themselves. But if I ever even catch that man speeding, I'm booking him for good.
2: But what would you do? I've thought about it, I've thought about what I would do if I were them, and you know what? I'd get curious, and I'd probably jump too!
1: Just don't watch the DVDs!
2: Who can resist the alluring magic that is Duck Tales?
1: That man, he gives them a vault full of gold coins. He truly is a mastermind.
2: He really is diabolical.
1: Some day, I will catch him, I give you my word!

Fade to black
End

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Prosperity'.

Sanctuary

2009-02-26T13:29:00.000-07:00

A man is running away from a lynch mob, with torches and pitchforks and such. We pan out to see another man behind a tree just a bit further in front, he grabs the man as he passes and holds onto his mouth with a shushing motion. The lynch mob runs past and the two of them walk into a house near by.

The scene cuts to inside the house, there are about 10 people inside the house, some are reading others talking to each other, some on laptops, they all stop and look up as the two enter.

The lead man begins to speak

Lead: Brothers and Sisters, we have another for our fold.

They all begin to cheer, the runaway man looks a little sheepish.

Runaway: What is this place?
L: This brother is a sanctuary, a place where you can be safe to form opinions, we all here have the same opinions you do and we won't kill you for them.
R: Really?
L: Yes, we all agree with your ways, and those outside of here, they can't find us in here.
R: This place, it's so beautiful, I never want to leave.
L: It's okay brother, you don't have to, there are few of us here, but we live and die by each other and our opinions. Go ahead, let it out, let it free, say what you want to say, we don't judge you here for it. Go ahead, don't be shy, we all agree with you here.
R: Are you sure?
L: Believe us, you are welcome here.
R: Well, uh, the thing is, I just don't think Joss Wheadon is that good a writer. I mean, Firefly was good and all but everything he does isn't the best thing ever.
L: Yes, let it out.
R: I liked Dr. Horrible sure, but it wasn't the greatest thing on God's green earth. I tried Buffy and haven't liked it, and Dollhouse hasn't really gone anywhere.
L: You see? Here you can say these things.
R: Wow, every time I've tried to say those things I got rocks thrown at me.
L: But here, there are few, but we are strong. Don't worry, you are free now.
R: Thank you. Thank you for saving me.
L: You are loved here.

End

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Sanctuary'.

An Old Tree

2009-02-19T04:48:00.000-07:00

Two trees stand in a forest of trees.

1: Oh man why can't I die?
2: Look gramps, it's like I've been telling you, we can't commit suicide, you have to wait to die. We're trees, it just doesn't work like that.
1: Sigh, but I've lived for so long.

Suddenly a big burly man with a chainsaw walks into view.

Man: Aha, this looks like a good tree. I think I will cut this one down.

1: Oh my glorious day! At last it's my time to die! Oh lad, I am so happy now, finally I will die a peaceful death.
2: I'm happy for ya gramps.

The man is about to start cutting into the tree when a bunch of hot and crazy hippy chicks all run up with chains.

chicks: No! You must not cut down these trees!

They chain themselves around the tree.

chick: You can't cut down this tree, it does not want to die.
1: What? Are you insane woman? Of course I want to die!
chick: we will not allow it!

Man: Sigh, you hippie chicks thwarted me again. Looks like I'll have to choose another forest.

1: NO!!!!!!

The hippie chicks looks satisfied and they un chain themselves and look at each other.

chick: We did it, we saved this tree! They walk away proud of themselves.

2: Sorry gramps, looks like it's not meant to be.
1: Just my luck sonny boy. Just my luck.

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Forest'.

Okay

2009-02-17T04:38:00.001-07:00

so daily didn't work again, however I'm going to keep trying different things until it works. Thursday still works. I need to see if I can start doing this monday one with Blue-Beta. But I think I still wanna do weekly tv and music. I just need to take the time to post it instead of playing around on the internet at work. :D

31 dates vote

2009-02-13T14:45:00.002-07:00

Hi everyone, I am currently up on a vote at

http://31datesin31days.com/

You should either vote for me, or read through and vote for the better man. But of course there is no one better then me. I am the Jon at FAO Schwartz guy.

Knock on Wood

2009-02-12T14:07:00.001-07:00

Two guys are talking near some wood paneling.

1: Yeah I hope not, knock on wood.
2: You know, knocking on wood is just some silly superstition.
1: Not for me it isn't.
2: Dude, it is for everyone, you're not some person who gets away with it.
1: I'll bet you 500 bucks it's not superstition for me.
2: You're on.
1: So I've never been dumped by a girl...

They both wait when suddenly a wood monster comes out from the wood paneling and knocks out the man.

Wood Man: He didn't knock.

The wood man disappears into the paneling.

2: Dammit, here's your 500 bucks.

He drops 500 dollars on his knocked out body.

2: Medical bills are going to catch up with you, knock on wood.

He knocks on wood.

End

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Superstition'.

Sunday Monday switch

2009-02-08T23:23:00.002-07:00

So I don't watch a movie every week. I've tried, but I failed. So I'm going to do something different. Sundays will now be, movie or comic book review. Monday will now be the Blue-Beta content. Joey and I are on a site in which Joey said they should do content like the thursday one. So monday is now that.

140 bottles of the ULTIMATE ACT OF DEFIANCE!!!!

2009-02-08T23:02:00.002-07:00

This happened today, but I'm counting it for Saturday.

So a while back my roommate got mad at me for some money issues. Most of it was fine, but the one part which i got pissed about was he had been buying in bulk a lot of bottled water. I snagged one or two when I needed some and he had invited me to do so on occasion. Well apparently he only invited me to out of courtesy and didn't actually want me to take them, so he said, "You should be paying for the bottles you take, in fact you should be paying for my taxi that I have to take so I can get the bottles back to the house." Now that's where I drew the line. Taxi? Oh man. I was ticked.

So today I went to Costco, one I knew he wouldn't like me shopping on sunday but I didn't care and two I had the perfect plan. I went and found the bottled water. 35 bottles per case. I bought 4 of them. So when I got home he was in the kitchen. I could tell he wasn't happy to see me coming in with things I had bought from the store, on a sunday and I hadn't gone to church that day either. But I brought in all my stuff and then it was like out of movie. I come in with the first 35. I could only do them one at a time. I put it down. I walk out come back a little bit later with the second, put it on top. Then the third, and the fourth. It was so dramatic. I put down the fourth and then I closed the doors and said, "Alright, 170 bottles should cover me for the past year." I walked into my room triumphant.

Friday TV Talk!

2009-02-08T22:44:00.002-07:00

I had these done but I just had such a busy weekend. No time to put them up.

Let's talk tv this week.

Lost and Battlestar Galactica are still at the top of my must see shows. They're the only ones I really get excited for each week. With only six more episodes left of BSG, I'm excited to see where they go with it. I'm also excited to have a show ending for good. They are planning on doing another show, however this one is set before this series, so it'll be okay.

I won't really talk about weekly shows unless I have something big to talk about so I'll talk about some shows that I'm catching up on.

I'm currently into the second season of Rome. I finished the first season recently. It's a hit or miss show, there were episodes where I felt bored but episodes which I needed to go on to the next one. The thing about this show which I think works more for some then for others, is it works more for those who actually know a bunch about it. After I finished the first season I decided to take some time and study that era, and suddenly so many more things fell into place. Now after having done that, watching the second season is even more exciting. So if you've had trouble getting into the show, do some research, it makes the show a lot cooler.

Kyle XY. Kyle XY is a show on the ABC family channel. It's a decent show about a genetically engineered teenager who finds himself not knowing what's going on. The show was intriguing because it had such wonder to it at the beginning. Now it's just another show which has good moments and silly moments. I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone unless you like mediocre shows. Though the first episode I would recommend to those who like wonder and awe.

"acarbar"

2009-02-05T01:49:00.001-07:00

World renowned writer James Macarbary lost his arm this week, he was riding on the bus and held his right arm outside the window and it was seized from him in a terrible accident on monday. Macarbary is known for his thrilling crime novels which apparently he hasn't given up on. However his newest book "Cre" is not doing well. Why you might ask? Well the term phantom limb comes into play. When someone loses an appendage they will often continue to try and use it even though it is not there. Here is an except from his new book "Cre" which he typed.

"Te tg at Cares s a e eected t c f ters! e wd dead erfect evertg e dd"

Many have been baffled by this writing but our scientists have found if he had a limb this is what we think he may have written.

"The thing about Charles is he expected to much from others! He would demand perfection in everything he did. "

In a message on his website he said to his loyal fans.

"Dt wrry a fe w cte t wrte aated! Ad tats a garatee!"

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, and William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden. This week's theme: 'Disfigurement'.

Music Shuffle 2: Electric Boogaloo

2009-02-04T03:28:00.002-07:00

1. Mega Man 2 -- Bubble Man -- I'm so glad I picked up the soundtracks for the Mega Man games. This kind of music was the first music I listened to a constant basis and really enjoyed. Chiptune music like this is my oldest love. I just love this stuff and this song is no exception.

2. Mahavishnu Orchestra -- Miles Beyond -- I first heard of this group when I found a bunch of their vinyls for cheap and they looked interesting. Only now am I hearing my first song by them and though it started out light this song is pretty rocking. It's like MMW but with more instruments. I think I'm going to listen to more of this band after this. This is the first one I couldn't find a suitable link for.

3. The Prodigy -- Hotride -- My most recent iPod's screen broke, so basically I've had it on random forever. Well one day I came upon this song and loved it but could not figure out who on earth it was. I looked through all my girl singers but to no avail. Then one day a little later I was looking through my Prodigy collection and here it was. The album as a whole sucked and this was the only good song on it. Also the link is to the music video which is awful and should never be viewed by anyone, so only listen to the song, don't watch the video.

4. Rammstein -- Bestrafe Mich -- Ah Rammstein, your favorite German power metal band. I've always had a mild fascination for this band. However most of their stuff is just plain awful as is this song. I'm glad I'm doing this random thing cause it's making me listen to some music I've just had that I never got around to listening to.
Also the video is really creepy.

5. Michael Jackson -- Is It Scary -- I have been really big into Michael as of late, but this song just isn't all that awesome. I'm quite disappointed by it. This is the first time I've heard it, but it's just not as good as all of his other stuff. Everyone has to have some bad songs I suppose.

6. Phish -- Possum -- Awesome, this is in my top 5 favorite Phish songs so I'm always glad when a version of this one pops up. It's a really good crusin' song as well for anyone who wants a good song to drive to.

7. The Urge -- Too Much Stereo -- This song leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth. This band was one of my favorites in high school, their first two albums were rockin' and this album like this song is more poppy then their usual sound. It's no wonder they broke up shortly after releasing this album. This song isn't great but I keep it around because of my love for the band and it's on the 100th album I ever purchased.

8. Primus -- Southbound Pachyderm -- I love this song. This is after all the most solid album by Primus which is one of my favorite bands of the late 90s early 00s. This is the start of their harder more sinister side which came out a lot more in their album Antipop. This band does a lot of good stuff when either sinister or crazy. This song though good works much better in context with the feel of the album then it does as a stand alone song. The link is for the music video which is 2 minutes shorter then the original.

9. Radiohead -- Morning Bell -- I love the feel of this song. This is one of the better songs on Kid A. I do have my gripes about this album as I don't think it's Radiohead's best album, but this song is one of the better songs on the album. It has a great eeriness feel to it as well. Live version in the link.

10. Galactic -- Paint -- The album this song is one Ruckus I won an autographed copy of at a concert. This song is a nice funky song which I like hearing every once in a while. This is my favorite live band after all.

Jethro Tull -- Aqualung

2009-02-03T03:43:00.000-07:00

This is the first time I've ever really listened to anything by Jethro Tull besides random songs on the radio. The first song, the title track Aqualung I remember from the classic rock station in high school, but having my more refined tastes I find it to be a lot cooler then I remember. Their usage of the extra instruments really appeals to me, most notably the recorders and the flute. The flute in the second song "Cross Eyed Mary" made me quite happy. The impressively haunting song "My God" also had an impressive flute solo. Listening to this album makes me wonder how I completely missed the boat on Jethro Tull. They're a great classic rock band and a dang good prog rock band. This album was quite enjoyable and makes me want to listen to more of Jethro Tull. This one is on a lot of top lists and it deserves it.

****
4/4 stars

Monday Movie Review: The Fall

2009-02-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

The Fall is a 2006 (released in 08) film done by Director Tarsem Singh. This is the first thing I've seen by him, and it stars Lee Pace who you might know as the main character in Pushing Daisies. I was surprised when the movie started to find that Spike Jonze was involved in the project, I got more excited and wondered why I had not seen it. This movie is visually spectacular. The opening credits have some amazing shots at different angles done in black and white and have so much fullness to it. There are two main story lines through out the movie, the first is of Roy Walker (Pace) and a young girl Alexandria who inhabit a hospital and the second story is the fantasy story which Roy is telling to Alex. This second story has some amazing colors and visually is quite stunning. There is also a claymation screwy scene in which you can tell that Jonze had a hand in. I often times have a hard time with child actors so it was a bit hard for me to relate to the young Alex, she was irresistibly cute however and once you can get past that you can get into her as a character. Pace's character for me was the most relatable and I understood his plight and connected with his character the most. The secondary story line was mostly there to try and pilfer pills out of the young girl and there were moments of this story line which were quite enjoyable. There were five main characters in this tale of bandits and I would have liked to see more of these characters but many of them were there it seemed only to be there and to fill time. I became somewhat disappointed in them and couldn't really get into them.

Overall I did enjoy the movie, it is one movie which should be viewed just so you can have viewed it. I don't know if it's one I would end up picking up but I'm glad to have seen it. The story I had hoped would have a bit more to it, and it seemed to ride mostly on the cuteness of Alexandria which didn't resonate too well with me. But for the visual aspect it was quite good and it's an enjoyable experience.

*** 3 out of 4 stars

Risk

2009-02-01T21:21:00.001-07:00

Sunday is for whatever random thing I feel like posting.

A shot is seen of a bunch of people wearing army uniforms in the desert, a couple of horses and a cannon are also seen. The camera closes in on two men.

1: So how liking Australia so far?
2: It's pretty nice, I just got in.
1: Yeah, I hear from the boss man that we're going to be getting a lot more troops in here soon.
2: I'm excited for that.

Suddenly a shadow falls over the men, they all look to the heavens as a gigantic white block with one 4 black dots each in one of the corners falls towards them at a great speed. It crushes them in an instant.

Pull back to a bunch of kids playing risk.

Kid: Dude, roll in the box!

End

I haven't been ice blocking since...

2009-01-31T21:10:00.003-07:00

There was one time I went ice blocking with some friends, and it was the last time I ever went ice blocking. For those unaware, you can take ice blocks and put towels on them, you sit on them and you can slide down a hill. It's like sledding in the summer with wetter results. Well this hill had been ice blocked pretty heavily so the whole hill was wet and slick. I was up and I started going down, it became too fast and my ice block came out from under me, but I kept going on the wet grass. That is until my rear end collided with a sprinkler head tearing it clean off and creating a water fountain. I had a large gash on my bum after that. That is why I will never ice block again.

Friday: TV Day

2009-01-30T14:48:00.001-07:00

Each week I'll talk about things I watch that week, whether it be for the week or something I just watched in the week. However this week I'm going to go for two weeks worth, mainly just for the first two shows.

TV Talk: Week Prior to Jan 30th 2009

There were two big shows coming back which have made me very happy.

LOST -- Lost returned for it's fifth season last week and did two episodes and then had a third episode this week. It is exciting since it's one of my favorite shows, and during all three episodes I had moments where I literally said out loud, "That's so cool!" Many people are saying this show could be the ultimate disappointment if it doesn't end well, but for me personally, I just get excited during the episodes and so at this point it doesn't matter if some things go unanswered, it's too much fun watching each day's episodes. For those familiar with the show they've somewhat stopped doing the person per episode format and are more so focusing on just telling the rest of the story which I'm really happy with. My friend Mark had said something he wanted more of and that's Sayid doing more ass kicking, well there is plenty of that in these episodes. Also it's making Desmond into an even more interesting character even though I didn't think it could be possible. If you're into this show, then you're already hooked. So keep watching.

Battlestar Gallactica -- Battlestar came back for it's final ten episodes of the series and is airing every friday night. So far I've watched the first two episodes and I have no idea how they are going to end it out. The reveal of who the fifth and final cylon was, was excellent. Also all of the reveals in the first episode back just kept bringing a smile to my face. This is one of the best shows currently on television and they've been really good about who they choose to do what. It's been really nice. There were some really shocking moments and it's really doing a good job. I can't wait to see how it ends, and I'm excited that a show I do currently like is ending in the next eight weeks.

24 is back and in it's seventh season. It's a decent show and I still watch it each week, but I'm no where near the level of people who call it the Jack Bauer power hour. This show is an alright show with nothing really special to it. Only once in the first five episodes has anything actually surprised me, and it was just a cool move that Bauer did while lying down in the front of a car. 24 enthusiasts for the most part only like 24 and The Office so I don't really listen to them.

Sunday Night Fox cartoons are back with new episodes of American Dad and The Simpsons. The Simpsons is in it's 20th season right now and is being frontlined by the really funny Bill Odenkirk. Having this guy behind it has actually made the show decently funny again. It's a completely different feel from the classic episodes around season 5, but it's an enjoyable little time. American Dad is in it's 4th season and it's not all that great, basically it's always aimed around Roger the alien, and that's the only character they ever know what to do with.

Thursday Nights bring us The Office, My Name Is Earl and 30 Rock. The Office and 30 Rock are both excellent shows and My Name is Earl seems to finally be coming to an end soon. It's a show which had some funny moments but is overall just not all that great.

Psych is back on friday nights and is just as good as it was when it started. The characters and the writing for this show are just excellent, and they're doing a nice slow build to two of the main characters getting into a relationship.

A surprise show which is actually quite good is the Star Wars: Clone Wars cartoon which shows on cartoon network. It's up to episode 15, but I'm still back on 10. The past couple of episodes have had some really good animation fights and some pretty decent stories to tell. I sorta wish it took place at a different time in the series, but it's still actually quite decent and a must if you're a true blue Star Wars fan.

I marathoned two series recently, the first is the first season of How I Met Your Mother. There are five main characters to the show, and the two main ones are just plain awful. They are awful actors and have nothing funny about them. The charm of this show are in the other three who are all seasoned tv show actors. Jason Segel from the show Freaks and Geeks, Alyson Hannigan from the Buffy series, and Neil Patrick Harris from Doogie Howser. Each of these three actors pull of excellent comedy. Also Bob Saget is the narrator which has a nice feel to it. So it's a decent show which is funny when it features those characters, but the other two are just no good.

The other show I marathoned were the first two seasons of The Big Bang Theory. This is a nice little show about a bunch of nerds and a social hot girl who lives across the hall. This is a good show for nerds as the nerd characters are really well written and have a lot of true nerdology to them. So if you consider yourself to be really nerdy or geeky then you should check out the show, otherwise don't bother.

For now that's good but stay tuned for more next week.

Hank

2009-01-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

My name is Adam and I am one of the last. It feels like forever since I lived a normal life but it only started a month ago. His name was Hank and he was a contestant on America's Next Talent. They had never seen such a good ventriloquist before in their lives. He could take puppets and make them say all sorts of amazing things. If youtube was still around i would give you a link, but the internet has been down for two weeks. Before long Hank had won the hearts of the American people and had won the competition. He had the largest number of text votes any reality show has ever seen. Then he went on tour with all the other finalists, he headlined each show and each show was sold out. I was confused by this since I found him to be a mediocre Ventriloquist at best, and really, no one actually likes it do they? Well, turns out I was right, no one actually liked it.

On the last day, the day before the internet died 95% of the sites were dedicated to Hank. I went to a site I had known of which showed earlier editions of websites, and I found one which had come out just a week earlier, one warning of his coming. This site warned of the Ventriloquist who had uncanny powers. He could make anyone into his dummy. There were many theories on how he did this, but it seems physically erecting his arm into the cavities of others was for the most part regarded as the true method. Though I still doubt the legitimacy of such events as he wouldn't have been able to shove his arm up six billion, sorry, I digress. The site I was mentioning is now a website which labels Hank and Ron Paul for the presidency in 2012.

I first noticed it in my life when my friend Gene texted me at all hours of the night, "Have u checked out this Hank mofro? He's teh zombors!!1!" I knew something was up because Gene had a Masters in English and was a stout teetotaler. I did not reply and within half an hour my doorbell had rung. Gene was at the door, spittle and dried spittle caked his mouth, there was a vacant stare about him and he was not carrying his usual dictionary in his left hand. "Adam, Hank is teh Zombors!" I looked at my friend perplexed and then he grabbed a hold of me and with the weight of his body pushed me to the ground. We struggled for a while but I was able to wrestle his library worn shriveled carcass off of me and run for the hills.

I had a cave from my days in spelunking of which I kept a backup generator and an emergency kit in case I needed to get away for a while. I had done this once before when I didn't have the gall to tell Kelly that I wasn't interested in her anymore. So this time I came extra prepared. I have been living here in my cave dwelling for a week, I will go out once in a while to search for signs of life, I found an abandoned cafe which I can get to about once a week and use my wireless to try and get a signal. All I can find is the Hankternet however, it seems he has taken over the world. I try not to stay online too long as I'm sure they're able to track my signal. I've set up this blog full of Hank propaganda, in hopes that someone who isn't under Hank's influence can find it and tell my story, just in case we live through this. Of course I do realize my story isn't all that interesting as I've only lived in a cave dwelling for a week living off of cans of soup and sprite. But still hopefully I will be able to live a life of semblance again. Good luck to all those who are trying to fight the good fight. I will never give in to a Ventriloquist as long as I live. This is Adam, signing out, comment please.

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, and William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden. This week's theme: 'Ventriloquism'.

Wednesday: Music Shuffle

2009-01-28T22:23:00.004-07:00

So wednesday is the music shuffle day, this is being posted on thursday but only because I came into it late, I would have done it yesterday morning. Basically how this works is I will listen to ten songs on random on my iTunes and comment on each of the songs. If there are versions of the songs online I'll post them for you to hear.

Oh wow, I can't believe that all of them have close to versions on the net. Only the String Cheese one is different.

1. Phish -- Train Song -- A really short one by Phish, at just two and a half minutes. I really like the chorus of this one but not as big a fan of the verses. The cool thing about this song is it proves Phish can do shorter songs and try different things. If you do like this song the rest of the album is along the same kind of vein, very light and airy. I'll listen to this song on random once in a while but I don't usually go seeking it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slFTgYP9IDA

2. String Cheese Incident -- Old Home Place -- Another Jam Band and another short one. This is in my top five favorite songs by SCI, this is the closest thing I have to country music that I actually really like. Of course it's still more jammy then country will ever be. It's a nice length and a nice song to get on random. I tend to forget about my love of String Cheese Incident until I get them on random.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gK0iMLvCfFM
Tony Rice doing the song

3. BT -- Knowledge of Self -- Over the summer I had a secret desire to get into techno, I was told Trance or House would be what I would like so I got a big amount of Techno. I ended up deleting most of it as I found I didn't like it. However BT was one artist which I kept, one because he records with other artists like Mike Doughty of Soul Coughing, but also because he's just one of the better artists when it comes to the genre. This one is decently enjoyable for the genre, and it's nice because there are some words to it as well, rapping mixed with techno seems like a perfect fit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJZQ1fUUn14

4. David Bowie -- Queen Bitch -- I got into this song because of The Life Aquatic and have just fallen in love with it. I have yet to really get into the rest of Bowie, but I hope to soon enough. This is a classic song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9cGG6aimgw

5. Propellerheads -- Bring Us Together -- I bought a Propellerheads album off of a recommendation but needed to get the remix done by them of super bon bon so I downloaded a full discography. This song is off some EP and it's incredibly repetitive and I'm thinking of deleting after I listen to it for the first time now. I probably will.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAdYhTsThP0

6. Lyrics Born -- Explosive -- Lyrics Born is pretty much my favorite rapper and so pretty much everything he does is excellent to me. He put out an album you can only get through his website called the Variety Show which is in my top 3 favorite rap albums. This song is a nice short quick rap song with some good licks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=793EXCQ8zJc

7. Michael Jackson -- We Are Here To Change The World -- Oh man this song is rockin', I've never heard this one before. A good quick dance tune with Michael's trademark high voice hits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ztzi-OBU7lA

8. Jellyfish -- Bye Bye Bye -- I just picked this up from Patrick so this is the first time I've heard this song. This is my old audio teacher's favorite band. I'm really liking the elaborate nature of the song, it's complexities and it's light hearted nature. It makes me really wanna check more out of this band.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FqFaR2TCJw

9. Ozomatli -- Dejame En Paz -- This is one of my favorites from the band Ozomatli, it's a fast joyous type song. All in Spanish but it doesn't matter because you can tell they had so much fun making the song that it's just infectious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRbB7jVtBJU (Live Version)

10. Sasha -- Deep Progress -- Sasha is a techno fellow who put out an amazing album called Airdrawndagger which is the best techno album I've ever heard. A bunch of his stuff was included in the techno download I got and so this is from some underground disc. It sounds like his style, but this is also the first time I've ever heard this one. This one isn't all that great on first listen, I mean it's okay but not up to snuff on his other stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_tXqjBidvA

Daily Content 3.0

2009-01-28T08:43:00.002-07:00

This time around I'm unveiling a different kind of daily content. This time around it will be themed days. I have a different theme for each day, so stay tuned as I'll be doing daily stuff, but in a weekly format. So here for you all is the lineup.

Monday -- Movie Review (For a movie I have watched that week)
Tuesday -- Album Review (An album I have listened to that week)
Wednesday -- iTunes Shuffle Commentary (I'll put my itunes on random and comment on ten songs at random)
Thursday -- Content Themed Writing (Done with other people, some creative writing based on a theme.)
Friday -- TV for the week. (Reviewing what television shows I watched that week)
Saturday -- Personal Narrative (Whether it be about my life or a commentary on something that's giving me an emotion)
Sunday -- Random Posting (It can be one of the above or any other posting, like website reviews, video games. Anything I feel.)

So there you have it. Tonight, I will start with the wednesday content and then continue from there. I hope you enjoy this time around.

Daily Content of another sort...

2009-01-28T04:34:00.002-07:00

So I've been milling about this idea in my head and today I think due to other's doing cool things as well, I think I'm going to do a daily content again, however, this time around I'm going to do more of a weekly feature for each day of the week. So for instance I will do the weekly writing feature with friends on thursday, maybe do an album review on tuesday, do a personal narrative on saturday and so on and so forth. So I've been milling about it and will probably put a somewhat official listing tomorrow and see how it goes. If anyone has any ideas on categories to be done let me know.

Moment I just had

2009-01-27T17:29:00.000-07:00

So my roommate likes to "talk" when I exit the bathroom, which makes it very awkward for me. What does he decide to talk about this time? Apparently there was a homicide on his bus route today. So because I'm uncomfortable what do I instinctively do? I laugh. And he looks at me in horror and says, "It's not funny, it's sad." And I quickly run back into my room.

Eifen Deifeiffen

2009-01-22T02:43:00.002-07:00

2 people are discussing something over coffee.

1: So how goes your sitcom?
2: Awful, I'm losing viewers with every episode.
1: Dude, that sucks.
2: I know, and you know what the worst part of it is?
1: What?
2: I think it's because I'm being too real.
1: Too Real.
2: Yeah, like you know how, "Uh Oh, I'm at some girl's house and my girlfriend just called on the phone!" and then something wacky ends up happening.
1: Yeah that's a usual.
2: Yeah, I write in the my characters turn their phone off before they go over, or they check who's calling before answering, or they have some amount of sense about them to not cheat on their girlfriends."
1: Eifen Deifeiffen.

There is a longer then usual pause.

2:What?
1:Hmmm?
2: What did you just say?
1: I didn't say anything.
2: Yes you did.
1: When?
2: Just now, I said how my characters don't cheat on their girlfriends and you said some nonsense words.
1: Well if you knew what I said why did you ask me what I said.

There is another longer then usual pause.

2: Okay, I think I'm going to have my characters keep their phones on from now on.
1: That a boy.
2: Yeah, good talk, I'll see you.

2 walks out of frame, 1 gives a confident smile.

______________
This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, and William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden. This week's theme: 'Eifen Deifeiffen'.

Vice

2009-01-15T04:13:00.001-07:00

3 friends sit in an apartment together. Two friends (Jeff and Steve) are playing a video games on the tv and sitting on the couch, they are playing a fighting game. (Zach) is sitting on a chair next to the computer, he is surfing the net.

Jeff: Come on, come on, come on, come on! No!
Steve: Boo Yah Grandma.
Jeff: Dude, I'm totally going to beat you in round two.
Steve: Bring it Granny.
Jeff: Alright, come on, come on, come on, come on, oh, oh oh oh, wait, no no no no, hey, no fair, a Vice! You've got my head in a vice!
Steve: What?
Jeff: You've got my head in a vice, I can't get out of it, oh now I'm dead. Dude that sucks, I couldn't do anything.
Steve: A Vice?
Jeff: Yeah dude, you had my head in a Vice.
Steve: I had your head in a headlock, what the hell is a Vice?
Jeff: Dude, you know what a vice is.
Steve: Yeah, like how prostitution is a Vice.
Jeff: What? That's not what I'm talking about.

Zach chimes in from the computer.

Zach: You mean like Miami Vice, or Grand Theft Auto Vice City?
Jeff: What? No, like as in a clamping device.
Zach: Oh, a De-Vice?
Jeff: No it's something completely different.
Steve: So is that why they call it Miami Vice?
Jeff: What like it's a clamping city?
Steve: No because of the city being full of prostitutes.
Jeff: What?
Zach: Yeah I can see that with Grand Theft Auto cause it is like a Prostitute City.
Jeff: No, what the hell guys, Vices are for clamping things.
Steve: Like Prostitutes.
Jeff: No! Dude, seriously, you had my head in a vice, that was all I was saying.
Steve: Dude, I am not doing that sort of thing to you head! I'm not that kind of guy.
Zach: Okay, hold up, I'll look it up. Alright, on the dictionary on the internet. Vice, noun, an immoral or evil habit or practice, immoral conduct, sexual immorality, like prostitution.
Steve: Told you!
Jeff: Keep reading.
Zach: A fault, defect or shortcoming.
Steve: Like Miami!
Jeff: Shhh!
Zach: a person serving as a buffoon.
Steve: Oh so that's why you had your head in a vice.
Jeff: Dude, shut up, seriously where is my definition?
Zach: Hold on there are two more. A clamping device, usually consisting of two jaws closed or opened by a screw or lever.
Jeff: See! I told you I was right.
Steve: Dude, it was like the eighth one.
Jeff: Still I feel like I've won the moral victory in this one.
Steve: So Zach, what was the last definition.
Zach: A Bad habit, as in a horse.

Suddenly a horse walks in from the other room.

Horse: Seriously guys can you keep it down? I'm trying to get some sleep in here!

A shot is seen of the three characters and the horse smiling and putting their arms up, the sound "whomp wow" is heard.

End

______________
This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, and William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden. This week's theme: 'Vice'.

Exodus

2009-01-08T00:43:00.007-07:00

A large number of Men in wrestling gear are seen crossing the plains, some of them have hand carts, others with bags over their shoulders. A man near the front has a belt on, he is leading the way. A news crew hurries up to his side and begins to interview him as he walks.

Reporter: This is Lindsey Travis for KPLX news, we are here outside of Grand Forks North Dakota as a mass exodus of wrestlers seem to be headed north for some reason, here we are with the World Heavy Weight Champion Thrasher The Beast, Mr. Thrasher your group of wrestlers have been walking for what seems like days, why have you been walking and where have you been walking too?

Thrasher: Well my dear reporter I just want to say we're trying to get out of this state, this state which only hicks and trailer trash come from.

Cut to a family watching tv in their living room. They all boo loudly and point their thumbs down. The mother is holding a sign which says "Dethrone Thrasher"

Cut back to the wrestlers in the field.

Reporter: Yes I understand that you've said your line as you've gone through each state you've walked through, but really, why are you leaving and where are you going to?

Another man quickly cuts in front, he is a debonaire man with a suit and cane.

Ted Debonaire: We are going to a local wrestling ring where I will defeat Thrasher for the World Heavyweight championship and reclaim what is rightfully mine, bringing back prestige to the Championship.

Cut to family cheering in front of tv, mother is holding a sign which says, "Ted is Hot!"

Cut back to the field.

Reporter: Yes well that's nice and good, but seriously now, you're all human beings not just story line characters, so is this all just a publicity stunt or do you actually have a reason for what you are doing.

Thrasher: Well miss, I guess you hadn't heard but our program has been moved from the U.S.A. network to Friday Nights on the C.A.N.A.D.A. network. We're just on our way there.

The reporter stops Thrasher.

Reporter: You aren't serious are you?

Thrasher: When you're champion, you're always serious. Now stand aside you country yokel.

Thrasher pushes her aside as the wrestlers continue their journey.

______________
This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Eli Z. McCormick of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, and William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden. This week's theme: 'Exodus'.

Do You Have The Time?

2008-12-26T16:28:00.001-07:00

A very short surreal film.

The camera is done in perspective of a man's eyes. A cookie is shown being bought by this man at an airport terminal. He sits down and starts to eat his cookie. A man next to him is talking. He seems to be talking on one of those phones which are lodged in the ear. He talks for a while longer, notices the man and turns his head to the right looking directly at it him and asks for the time. On the left side of his face where his ear and the phone should be is another face talking right back to the first face. The scene quickly cuts to black.

End

Media Extravaganza

2008-12-05T07:32:00.000-07:00

As you all should know by now I am into Media as a whole. Oh dear me goodness. My best group of friends being the film group of which are the most common readers of this blarg are as well. Well for those who do not know, they may be surprised at the current media I am going headstrong into.

Video Games started from an early age and has always just been a constant in my life, right now I have less need for it except in certain exceptions such as Kingdom Of Loathing and Civilization 4.

Music was the first in which I fell totally headstrong into. I went nuts collecting and finding so many different types of music. I still have a need to find but I have much less of one then I used to. Every once in a while there will be an exception but not too often anymore.

Movies have been a constant one as well though I've gone in and out at times.

Television started from a young age but has become probably my biggest one overall.

But here's the one which is the current one which I've gotten into. Comic Books in Trade paperback form. Over the next couple of posts I am going to get into each of the series I have been reading. Stay Tuned.

The Face

2008-11-28T15:39:00.000-07:00

A bunch of friends are chatting in a regular living room when the door knocks and a guy walks in. He nods to everyone then sits down, everyone is talking to each other but one by one they do a double take on the guy and then just stare at him.

Guy: Hey everyone, how's it going?
Girl 1:Uh, Hi Jeff.
Jeff: What's happenin'?
G1: Nothing, you look different.
Boy 1: Yeah, did you get a haircut?
Boy 2: No, there's something more about him.

Jeff gives off a smile and winks.

G1: Holy crap!
B1: What?
G1: Jeff has a face!

Everyone shows their realization. And make some sort of exclamation.

Jeff: Guilty, guilty. Yup I got a face.
G1: But you're the faceless man!
Jeff: Yeah but I was feeling like a change.
G1: How are you going to do your job?
Jeff: Oh I quit.
B1: But you're going to be noticed in a crowd!
Jeff: Yeah I've been self conscious about that.
B2: What really brought about this change?
Jeff: Well, my girlfriend wanted something to kiss.

All: Oh!

They all shake their heads.

B1: Women.

End

What Have You Been Working On?

2008-11-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

I'm having some trouble with daily content, mostly I need ideas on stuff. But in the interim I've been writing more long form. What have I been writing?

My Super Hero Novel
A Badass Fantasy Novel
and
A D&D Musical

So if anyone has ideas, just give me a topic and I'll write about it. Gimme gimme gimme.

World Of Goo

2008-11-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry no post today, being distracted by World of Goo.

http://2dboy.com/games.php

Puberty

2008-11-20T08:30:00.001-07:00

He's a Magic Man

2008-11-18T08:17:00.000-07:00

A man sits alone in a room, he looks bored out of his mind, playing cards are scatted everywhere and he's wearing some Magician type outfit. He keeps throwing cards every once in a while.

M: I am so bored....

The camera pans around the room there is a door at the end of the room, it is shut. The camera pans back to the man.

M: When I took this gig I thought there would be fame, fortune. Not to just be turned into some kind of robot, having to wait here all day until fate came knocking at my door. I mean what could be out there? All manner of magic, cards, maybe even rabbits jumping out of hats, and yet here I am, stuck in here, all by myself. Just waiting, waiting, waiting.

He continues to throw cards randomly when suddenly an alarm goes off. He gets up excited.

M: Finally!

We here the door open and suddenly some 8-bit music starts to play/ The camera pans back to show a blue suited man walk in. The sinister music ends with a meter in the top right side of the screen going up and theme music begins to play. Magician Man throws his cards and the Blue man, but the screen is paused, he chooses Filibuster and turns into a Red White and Blue man. The action resumes and he shoots his blaster throwing a pulpit at Magician Man defeating him and making him disappear. The Blue Man turns back into Blue and jumps into the air victorious.

End

Breaking My Arm

2008-11-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever broken your arm?

It hurts you know, breaking an arm.
You fall on it and it breaks
then you have to spend months waiting until it heals.

You know what hurts worse then a broken arm?

Breaking it again.
Though not technically true
usually it hurts about the same amount

But then why would it hurt worse?

Well because it's all in your head
You know the pain that goes with it already
the long and slow recovery that is ahead.

Wouldn't the first time have hurt that same way?

Well not really as you don't know
the journey which is ahead of you
and you have an air of mystery

So what happens when you break it the third time?

Well then it's just getting old
You get bored with the process
it just hurts the same and you never see the end

And the fourth?

Don't even get me started
now you just don't even want to go out
You're done with the whole thing

What?

Well haven't you been paying attention?
Breaking your arm requires that you be doing something
which has some amount of movement to it.

You want to just lie in bed?

You think you do
But then you don't
Does that make sense?

No. I thought I was asking the questions?

I thought I was you
when did we become
two separate entities.

Around the second or third stanza, what was the point to all this?

Oh it was supposed to become a metaphor
about life and love and all that comes with it
and failure over and over again.

Isn't that sorta dumb?

Yeah well poetry is dumb sometimes
deal with it alright?
Just be glad you exist at all.

Are you high?

Yes I am high.
Now go away I have something
better to do.

Like what?

Oh I don't know
ending this poem
by breaking my arm.

It's Him!

2008-11-16T00:46:00.000-07:00

Two friends are walking down the road. They both stop and look into the distance.

1: Hey isn't that?
2: Yeah i think it is.

The camera pans around to show a man very rigid talking to some people, some of the people are interested, some are walking away. Cut back to the two friends.

1: Hey let's go check him out.
2: Yeah I've never seen him out and about like this.

The two friends run up to this man who is spouting off information.

Man: and as such, both groups are thoroughly dedicated to ensuring that the changes involved are decidedly non-violent, entirely optional, and beneficial to as many people as possible.

Another person listening in interjects.

Person: Biology!

Man: Biology, is the study of life and a branch of the natural sciences which studies living organisms and how they interact with each other and their enviroment.

Cut back to the friends.

1: Holy crap it is him.
2: You're right it's...

Cut back to the man.

1 & 2: Wikipedia Man!

The Man and the friends are left alone.

1: So what if I want to edit something?

Man: Well you'll have to give me your log in name and password. If you don't have one you can also register, just tell me your name and your password twice so I know you have it, and then you're in.

2: Wikipedia Man, you're so cool.

Man: I know. I know.

Wikipedia smiles.

You've asked for it!

2008-11-16T00:44:00.000-07:00

Now you're going to have it. Here is the beginning of Daily Content part 2!

(Note due to work schedules if I miss a day in the days of monday through wednesday, do not worry, it's only cause I didn't access the internet!)

This second run is thanks in part by John and William!

Daily Content Part 2

2008-11-02T04:38:00.000-07:00

Coming Soon....

Heart!

2008-10-18T03:55:00.000-06:00

The Twins

2008-10-18T03:54:00.000-06:00

A scary moment.

2008-10-15T18:51:00.000-06:00

Good Promo

2008-10-14T08:12:00.000-06:00

Today marks

2008-10-13T19:08:00.000-06:00

The first absolutely successful time in which I was able to switch from a day to a night schedule in one day. I haven't been able to do that without two days before.

One word review of the Brass Band Festival Today

2008-10-11T21:44:00.001-06:00

Brass-tastic!

Cool Weekend

2008-10-10T19:38:00.000-06:00

One of my best friends from home is coming up to Boston this weekend. Freda and I will have some fun me thinks.

The first ever, write your own ending contest!

2008-10-09T21:56:00.000-06:00

I have a screenplay here and I'm not sure how to end it, I've come up with a couple of ideas but it is up to you the reader to give me an ending and then the best one will be chosen, so please, submit ideas in the comment section after reading this wonderful screenplay!

The Couch

2 men are sitting on a couch, it is currently falling from a great height, going past clouds, the men's hair is going into the air. A third person suddenly poofs onto the last seat on the couch, in the middle seat.

1: Welcome!
2: What on earth? Where in the hell am I?
1: You're on a couch.
2: I can see that, but are we falling?
1: That we are!
2: How can you be so cavalier?
3: He's been like that since I got here.
2: How did we get here?
3: Old Man Johnson.
2: Yeah, I was yelling at him for hitting my kid with his cane.
3: Yeah he's a mean old man.
1: Wheeee!
2: Well what do we do? We're gonna die.
3: I wish, I've been falling on this couch for three weeks.
2: Three weeks? And you said he's been here longer?
3: Yeah he was like that since I got here.
1: I am having so much fun!
2: Okay seriously, we're on a falling couch, how can you be having this much fun.
1: Cause I prefer to see the glass as half full, have fun while it lasts! Wheee!!!!

-----

Where should it go from here? Comment!

Guess what I did today

2008-10-08T08:54:00.000-06:00

So I did a lot of stuff at work today. I had a 12 hour shift today because every once in a while we have these 2 hour meetings to get lectured on stuff we already know. So during my regular shift I started work on my fantasy novel which I've had brewin' in my head off and on since elementary school. It's a lot different then the beginnings in elementary school but a lot cooler as I'm writing it as someone who generally thinks fantasy novels suck. But during the 2 hour extra meeting at the end of my shift, I sat in the back and didn't pay attention and made 15 3-panel comics outlined. So when I get on the generator I have them all mapped out already. Oh and I wrote one screenplay but I have no idea how to end it. Maybe I'll post it and see what others think for and ending.

A really silly joke

2008-10-07T17:48:00.000-06:00

Monday

2008-10-06T17:09:00.000-06:00

Monday is the day I need to save backlogged stuff and put that up. Why? Well Sunday night Monday morning is always my first day of work that week, which means I'm usually not on the right amount of sleep, and so I have as little energy as it is and so I end up doing nothing productive at work on this day. Monday night however as I've slept all day monday usually tends to be my best night for creative juices. So from the backlog, the second of the comics from the comic sorta series I'm doing on that comic generator. I have 5 in total and I showed the third one first for some reason and then the first one so here's the second.

First Comic

2008-10-05T17:43:00.001-06:00

I've done five comics using the comic generator. This was the first one.

Spiritual Moments at the expense of others.

2008-10-04T15:40:00.000-06:00

"I am a child of God, and he has sent me here."

The other day these words made me very angry. So angry in fact that I yelled at a bunch of people.

Wait, let me back up.

It was at the campout I mentioned earlier, one in which was a very creepy place as all of the places were church sites. You could do archery at the Sacred Grove! I had not had much sleep the night before the camp so around midnight I had been awake for 23 hours and was ready to get some sleep. As giant campouts like that go there are lots of campfires and people staying up. Near my tent there was the biggest gathering of people around a campfire, about 40 people singing songs. When I went to sleep even with 40 people, they were quiet enough that it wasn't all that bad. But then at 2 am, I was awoken by the loudest rendition I've ever heard of the song above. After the song was done, the group went into another very loud hymn. I wandered out there and there were only about 10 people, all singing at the top of their lungs these songs. Many had tears during this time. I allowed them to finish their song and then I chimed in.

"Alright, time for you guys to stop, it's 2 in the bloody morning, I don't mean to be a jerk, but you're really loud and if you could take it down a couple of notches I'd really appreciate it, I know you guys are having a really spiritual time and all, but it's not cool to have it at the expense of others."

I walked off and they all went to bed. I showed them.

Greg

2008-10-03T18:49:00.000-06:00

I found this site a while back and have done a couple of comics on it. It's a fun little thing. Hopefully this time showing off this picture won't get me spammed by a bunch of weird people.

Balls To The Walls

2008-10-02T16:07:00.001-06:00

A guy sits in a chair with his computer in front him opened to a page of wikipedia. A guy in a super hero suit is standing behind him.

Guy: Alrighty, I'm logged into Wikipedia, you ready to be immortalized?
Hero: I was born ready.
G: Let's start by putting in your name in the information field.
H: Remember it's Ben "Balls To The Walls" McAllister.
G: I got it Ben, alright, I just have to push next.

and error pops up.

G: You have got to be kidding me.
H: What?
G: There is already an article for a Ben "Balls To The Walls" McAllister.
H: I didn't know I had any fans.
G: No dude, apparently this is some other dude who goes by that name.
H: The reason why I chose this name was so I could get a damned Wikipedia page, and now you're telling me Balls To The Walls is taken?
G: Not just that, the whole thing, Ben "Balls To The Walls" McAllister.
H: Well who in the hell is he?
G: It looks like he's a Bass player for a band out of Nottingham England called "The Fandrastic"
H: Never heard of them.
G: Says here they became locally famous for winning third place in a best new bands tournament and broke up shortly after that.
H: So they're not even famous?
G: Well looks like they're more famous then you.
H: Dammit, well it looks like I need to go find another costume.
G: You know we could just input a bunch of names until one comes up.
H: No! That would be too easy, and it would take away the artistic passion. Someday I will conquer this wikipedia and that day will be a truly great day.

The Hero runs out of frame.
End

Rodney

2008-10-01T19:37:00.001-06:00

A guy and a girl are walking together holding each other through a park.

M: I am so glad we finally decided to be together.
W: Oh I know, and isn't the world just so much more beautiful when you're in a relationship?
M: I know exactly what you mean.

They both sigh and continue to walk when a rock is thrown at both of them. They both fall down and a teenager with his shirt off runs past, he has a sack full of rocks and he's holding another rock in his hand. He is giggling as he runs past.

M: Damn that Rodney.
W: Hasn't he sinned yet?
M: Apparently not.

End

Inspired by a true story...

2008-09-30T19:26:00.001-06:00

a couple is stuck in a darkly lit place like a crawl space, some items can be seen on top and below them, they are cuddling together.

W: I can't believe your roommate.
M: Well I did agree to the terms.
W: Yeah but he went way over board on this one.
M: Well I can understand his plight, I mean he is pretty lonely and so he doesn't like seeing other people making out.
W: He should be glad his best friend is happy.
M: Yeah. I mean I don't condone what he did, but when we first got the apartment we did agree to no making out in the front room.
W: Yeah but your room is so messy.
M: I guess I should just keep it clean cause at least this time we know he's serious.
W: Where on earth did he get one of these?
M: Australia I think.
W: Is this a sandwich?
M: Eew, that's gross, maybe he should be the one to clean up.

A light is seen from the top.

Voice: Have you learned your lesson?
M: Yeah, sorry Jeff, we won't make out in the front room again.
V: Alright.
W: Seriously Jeff, how on earth do you have a Magic Bag?

The screen is flipped upside down and the two fall out of the Bag.

End

2 Men and a beard

2008-09-29T08:28:00.000-06:00

2 men in medieval garb are sitting enjoying a cup of some sort of drink in a house. One man has a beard.

Beard: How's the wife?
2: Oh she's great, she got a job as a seamstress.
B: That is good to hear.

They have a silent moment as they both take a drink.

2: I hear you've found a pretty nice job.
B: Oh yeah, it's an amazing job, I can work from home and I really don't have much to do.
2: That must be nice.

Another drink.

B: Yeah what with all the craziness going on out of town I'm sure the shipping business isn't going to well.
2: It isn't we actually lost someone the other day.
B: Terrible.

Another drink.

There is a knock at the door. The bearded man gets up.

B: Excuse me.

He goes and opens the door, a young spry man in green clothing holding a sword and shield is standing outside the door.

B: I am Error.

The bearded man closes the door. He goes to sit down when there is another knock at the door, he goes back opens it, the same spry man is at the door.

B: I am Error.

He closes the door and sits down.

2: That is amazing.
B: Best job ever.

End

Cleaning duties

2008-09-28T17:59:00.000-06:00

I had a dream last night in which one of those late night advertisements for some sort of cleaning solution was mixed into my cleaning duties at work. But it was also mixed with high school band stuff. Plus my job occurred in a parking lot.

So basically I had my high school band teacher explain my duties while showing me how a simple rub of his solution could get out any sort of stain.

My dreams, they be messed up.

Alvis

2008-09-27T08:09:00.000-06:00

5 people all sit around a table wearing cloaks. There is some sort of design in the middle of the table. Candles line the room and the main guy has a book in his hands.

1: Tonight is the night in which we resurrect our God Alvis. It has been said that when the stars are aligned, the mortal ones will bring about the destructor. Here we are on this fateful day to bring you about.

They all start to chant and hold hands. They start to stand and the lights begins to flicker. The table shakes and a sound is heard.

1: Come to us Alvis we await as your faithful servants.

More moans as one of the 5 suddenly breaks the chain falling down, the lights go out. One of the five go over and turn on the light. The one who has fallen now has his head uncloaked and is sitting down reading a newsweek. He looks up from his magazine and says, "I am Alvis."

A: Thanks for ressurecting me.
1: We only live to serve you master.
A: Just so you know, you guys are dumbasses.

There is a painful silence.

A: Seriously did you honestly expect to summon a destroyer and leave with your lives? Don't you watch movies? You summon me, I am freed, I kill you all then go on my own murderous rampage.

Again a silence.

2: But we are here to serve you master.
A: You wanna serve me? Cook me some bacon and eggs, You, go to the store and buy US Weekly, You, go to the store and buy me some two ply toilet paper, I ain't wiping with one ply, and you, (He points at 1) I need you to commit some ritualistic suicide so that I can get some more points on my Xbox Live from Satan.

1: I live to serve.

He quickly grabs a knife and slices his neck falling to the ground.

A: Dammit, I didn't want you to make a mess. Go Go Go, looks like we're going to need a lot more two ply.

Everyone leaves the room.

A: Sigh.

Alvis stands up.

A: I should probably set up an eharmony account.

Fade to black.

The Visigods

2008-09-26T05:04:00.000-06:00

Band is playing on stage. They are screaming into the microphone and everyone is having a good time. Cut down to two girls at the concert, the song ends and they look drenched in sweat and they look incredibly happy.

1: Oh I love these guys so much.
2: They really are rockin.
1: No I mean I really love these guys. I love The Visigods so much that I want them to have my babies.
2: I do too.

The next song starts.

Cut to the band finishing their last song. They walk off stage.

Guitar: Yeah that was a good show.
Bass: I agree, I think we really rocked them to another planet.
G: Shut up Barry.

They enter their dressing room to find the two girls.

G: How did you get in here?

1: Hey now we're just two of your biggest fans.
2: Yeah please don't kick us out.
G: Alright, I think you can party with us, what do you wanna do?
1: I would like you to impregnate me.

The band stops confused.

1: I want you all to impregnate me so I can have the ultimate Visigod child.

Even the other girl looks at her curiously here.

1: I want to have your babies, so please. Everyone get naked.

There's a pause.

G: Alright!

The rest of the band woo and everyone starts to get naked, the drummer closes the door.

End

The Death Of Superman

2008-09-25T10:06:00.000-06:00

Screenplay

2 Doctors are doing an autopsy on superman who is dead on the table.

1: What do you suppose about the soul?
2: The soul? You religious now?
1: Well think about it, we've got someone like Superman here who is supposed to be invincible and he's dead, but let's say he comes back to life, does he still have a soul?
2: Now come on, no one comes back to life.
1: Jesus did.
2: So you are religious then?
1: Well I mean I guess I am, but I've never really gotten into it before, I've just been thinking about it lately what with superman being dead and all.
2: It is a shame, poor supes.

They both sigh and continue to go through his chest cavity.

2: What's this?
1: Hey, isn't that Kryptonite?
2: Yeah it's right next to his heart, it must have been injected.
1: No wonder he's dead. So do you think he'll gain his soul back?
2: That again? Look dude, we'll move the piece out, and he'll still be dead. Plain and simple.
1: I don't know man, he might jump up with his soul back and say, 'thanks for saving me fellas.'
2: I doubt it. Alright here goes.

They pull out the Kryptonite and Superman's torso jumps up.

1: See, i told you so.
Superman: Braiiiiins!

Superman looks at each man and uses his red eye beams to shoot each man, then jumps out of the shot onto one of them and you hear ripping and crunching and then slurping. Fade to black.

In Honor of the Volker

2008-09-25T10:03:00.000-06:00

If you have not read his blog please go to my buddies blog.

http://volkerthefiddler.blogspot.com

I've decided because it would help me to exercise my writing and what not to follow suit to the pattern he is doing. At least as far as to post once a day. This post does not count as today's post. Though of course I won't be super serious about it, for that would lose the fun.

The Deletion Issue

2008-09-24T16:35:00.000-06:00

It's been a long time coming but in the past week I have realized that I no longer enjoy one of the blogs in my reader. I won't say who's it is obviously but it's not yours. (I am fairly certain the person never checks my blog). This person posts a lot and never says anything of which I find to be interesting, in fact as time has gone on I've become more dejected for writing style and writing content of said blog. However, the problem lies in the feelings of doing such a thing. Deleting said blog from my reader feels like a permanent thing, I am fully acknowledging that this person has no more place in my life. Of course this person has never really had place in my life but it still feels like I am betraying something or someone unknown. Perhaps they were to find out, a possible conversation between me (J) and (T)hem could go thusly.

T: I understand you deleted me from your reader.
J: Yes but you must understand, your life is no longer relevant in my scope of understanding.
T: Is a ladybug not still relevant to it's surroundings even if it does not touch the trees.
J: See if you wrote about that I would still tune in.

Thus we see the foils of mankind. Being able to add or delete friends on a whim. But do know that when it comes to judgement I will be able to say, "I thought it through, and I have deleted you with purpose, for it was right in mine eyes."

T: Thanks Jerk Face.

Talent Shows

2008-09-23T19:55:00.000-06:00

I went to a campout last weekend where a talent show took place. The camp was at a really creepy place called "Zion's Camp" where there were different church sites miniaturized into little things. For instance you could go do archery at the Sacred Grove. Weee!

I've always been awesome at low key talent shows, and this one was no exception. If only talent shows were lauded by critics then I'd have something to go on. But for this talent show I got up and with a Where's Waldo book, I found Waldo. I did it on three pages.

It went over amazingly well, but what is usually the worst part of doing a talent show is that afterwards everyone who sees you refers to you as the defining characteristic of the talent. Like if I do "I will survive" I become I will survive guy. This time I became "Waldo". Thing is there is a good portion of the population who have no idea they are being dinks, take for instance a random passing, "Hey Waldo, where's your Waldo clothes?"

To this type of person I decided to destroy the dream for, "Can I tell you a secret? In my act I never did find Waldo, it was all a lie."

For those who actually paid attention to my name and said, "Hey Jon, I really liked your talent," I replied, "Thanks, I actually did find him, it was an enjoyable experience."

So be careful dinks of the world, I am out to destroy your dreams.

Helping Little Old Lady

2008-09-08T16:49:00.000-06:00

I forgot to mention this but a couple of weeks back. Perhaps it was about 2 months ago. Back when I was still riding the bus daily. I was on my way to work and I was getting off at one of my stops which was a bus station. I got behind a little old lady and decided to take a moment instead of passing her to help her off the bus. It took about 20 seconds. 30 seconds after that I got to my next transfer and there was my bus ahead of schedule pulling out, I had missed it by 20 seconds and I knocked on the closed door to see if the bus driver would let me on (he was stuck from traffic and couldn't yet leave the station). He looked at me and shook his head no. I was late for work.

Moral: Never help old ladies.

Scary Dream

2008-09-05T23:00:00.000-06:00

I had a dream last night that due to the popularity of the US television show "The Office", Ricky Gervais decided he needed to resurrect the British Office and make as many episodes as the US one. Luckily I woke up and realized he wouldn't do such a thing.

Screenplays I need to re-write

2008-09-05T02:04:00.000-06:00

So my computer died recently and I lost the documents. So to remind myself here is the list of screenplays I wrote which i need to re-write at work.

Error

The Magic Bag

Zues

The Haircut

Wow

2008-08-22T04:49:00.000-06:00

So I posted my latest blog on a cool site I had found. It was very short and sweet and somehow in posting this, I got two quick comments. One from some dude in India who was a comic book writer, and the most messed up Jesus Fanatic I have seen in a very long time. Yeesh.

Busy Week

2008-08-12T02:19:00.001-06:00

You'd think with being on vacation that I would have a lazy week but I have almost the whole week full of stuff.

My parents are coming into town.
I have a meeting for the documentary.
Pat and Kristin might come up and Joey is going away.

I think I still have a little bit of time to do nothing, I know I need to go see Tropic Thunder on Wednesday at least!

Good

2008-07-31T16:16:00.000-06:00

So life is going swimmingly, I haven't updated in a while probably because my reasons for having this blog have changed over the years. But anyways here's a list of cool things happening in my life.

I met a girl named Lumina who has put me on as Producer for her Documentary.

I got my work schedule for after the long break and it's exactly the same and my lazy and complaining co-worker got moved to a different division, which is the one thing he said would make him quit, so he's quitting, and so I won't have to deal with him any more.

I have a four week break coming up.

My parents will be moving to Massachusetts in August.

Bad news for Provoians, I won't be out there as long as planned (planned was the entire break), now if I do end up coming out there it'll be for about three days or so.

I've made a bunch of pretty solid friends out here, nothing to the level of the guys yet, but pretty good.

I went and visited Pat in NYC this past weekend and went to a really good Ween concert.

I seriously live in one of the best places ever and even with cost of living and price of gas I'm making more money then I could have in Utah.

Life is pretty good right now and I'm enjoying it.

Serenity

2008-07-11T22:41:00.000-06:00

Parents and Moxie

2008-06-23T08:19:00.000-06:00

My parents are coming into town today. I've been awake far too long and really should be sleeping but I need to go to the RMV (It's what Massachusetts calls the DMV, but for some reason they like changing it to R. Like a pirate car place.

We're going to make a movie called Dial M for Pirates, it's about a bunch of illiterate pirates.

Anyways, it'll be nice seeing my mum and pop again, they're out here specifically for an interview as my parents may be moving to MA in the next couple of months. How weird would that be? That I moved to Boston and then they moved out after me because they wanted to still be in my life. Ha. What this also means is I'll have a car. I will only be using the car for going to and from work and for those once in a while trips to Maine or Vermont. Speaking of which!

http://www.moxiefestival.com/schedule.html

July 11th and the 12th is the Moxie Festival in Lisbon Maine and I am going to go no matter what but I would love to get a couple of people who wanna come for a road trip! Let me know if you're interested, it's a super fun festival and you get super cool t-shirts and stuff too! Moxie for everyone!

Edit: Maine also has some of the absolute best thrift store shopping and photograph taking spots I have ever been to, so that will likely be a part of the one to two day trip as well!

300

2008-06-21T01:39:00.000-06:00

You know it's funny, but this same thing happened at 100 and 200 posts, I would stop at 99 and 199 and think of ways to commemorate the amount of posts I was on, and then I would never do it, until I did something like this where I just had to come on and say it was the 300th post so that I could get back on with my life and post about less dramatic things. So here it is. Post number 300. Awesome.

One of those nights you never forget.

2008-06-15T00:36:00.000-06:00

I had thought of how I was going to celebrate my 300th post on my blog. This is actually 299 and I wanted to do some sort of, "IN preparation for..." However, this past night was so interesting and weird that I really need to write it down while it's still fresh in my mind. Let's start with the whole day, so my day started a whole 22 and a half hours ago. I woke up at 4 in the morning and had no idea how I was going to be able to get back onto a night schedule by sunday night. Now, not so much of a worry. Things I did know when i woke up.

1. My roommate had his birthday the day before and so he was having a social gathering at our place at 5 pm.

2. A girl I had met through improv invited me to go to a concert in Cambridge at 10 pm that night.

So I started off the day with no caffeine and I talked with people online and got some work done. I cleaned a little bit of my room. By about noon I had thought if I could get a nap from noon until 4, then I should be set. I tried to sleep, and got half an hour of sleep but then woke up and was super hungry as it was now 1 pm and I had forgotten to eat since waking up at 4 am. So I ate and tried to sleep again but to no avail. 5:30 rolled around and people started showing up for the party.

Only 5 people RSVPed and about 15-20 people showed up including two just out of high school girls who got the email and thought there would be younger people at the party. There were not to their dismay and so they looked like deer in headlights for the party until they could make a viable excuse to leave. The party overall was a success, I got to know many people and it was really nice. Most people left at 8:30 and so I got ready to go to the concert.

I left for the concert at about 9:30, but the red line was down between two stations so it ended up taking me longer then expected and I arrived around 11. The girl whom had invited me was no where to be seen and I wished I had somehow gotten her number to see if she was really coming. The venue was a really small tavern and the place was filled enough to fill every seat but not overly full. The band was probably the best rockabilly band I've ever heard, here is their myspace page --

http://www.myspace.com/rockyvelvet

It was a really good show, but about halfway in I noticed this couple. They were doing some interesting things. They both looked to be about 25. The girl was drunk and trying to get away from her boyfriend and have a good time and cut loose. Her boyfriend though was really creeping me out as he only had a stern look on his face and he stared at her the entire time. Every about three minutes he would walk towards her grab her by the shoulder and tell her something, she would then push him away and go dance in another part of the bar, and he would stare for about three minutes and so on repeating over and over and over again. I was really getting bothered by it. I was near the bathroom when she hid in the bathroom hallway, he went in there and started to hold her back not letting her leave. I started fuming, so I got up from my chair and she went across the bar. Well when she finally did come back across the bar past me, when he went to follow I blocked his path. I told him to calm down but he pushed past me. She ran to the other side and again I blocked his way and told him to cool his jets and give her some space. He pushed past me again but after I had done that his advances on her became much less frequent with more time intervals between. I had lost sight of them for a while and realized they had left the building so I continued to rock out knowing there was nothing more I could do. When the concert was over I left the bar at about 1 am. I knew there was a bus coming by there at about 1:30 so I could wait there for that one. When I went outside there they were yelling at each other, "I don't love you." was said by both of them quite a bit. Finally she came over to the small group and said help me out here please. We all got in there and he said he was done with the relationship but still wanted to make sure she got home alright. We said we'd call a cab, we did, she was put in the car and he left. Crisis averted at least for a night. The bus came along and I got on the bus to go home.

The story does not end there. Not by a long shot. Be careful though cause coming up is one of those Holy &%^$ &^%$ type moments. If you don't want to go any further, just know I am okay, I am not hurt, just a little shaken up. And will not walk alone in this neighborhood that late again.

----------------------------CAUTION-------- Really messed up tale ahead ------------------

I arrived a 10 minute walk from my apartment when the bus came to it's last stop, there was no other way to get home then to walk as none of the busses going past my house came that late. I had done the walk before, it's well lit and I had done it about that late a couple of times before with no incident, still I held my camera in my hand just in case I needed a weapon. I live in a rough neighborhood so sometimes you never know. Tonight was one of those nights. As I was walking along a stretch I noticed on the side of the street I was walking on a crowd of about 10 teenagers dressed in black. A sound went off like a pop gun, not an actual gun but like a loud snapper. The kind you get on the fourth of July. The kids all ran into the alley after the noise was heard. I walked to the other side of the street just in case and was walking past a bunch of teenagers scattered through out the other side of the road. I heard some boys laughing but then one girl about 16 years old started crying really loudly. "I don't want this anymore." A guy's voice, "Dude, your sister is bleeding!" I kept walking, and didn't hear from that group again then I saw another group, run past me three guys and a girl. Then four more three guys and a girl underneath a tree. I had caught up to another guy and girl, two mexicans, who were also walking on my side of the road, they too were not involved. The girl saw us walked across the street and leaned against a big truck hiding herself from all of them except us three. When we got to her she was crying and pleading with us, "Please help me." I could see she was bleeding from several cuts on her leg. I wanted to help, I really did, but I knew if I were to help I might somehow get mixed up in this insane thing that was going on and I couldn't risk it. I had to get a safe distance away. It felt awful as I left her laying against the truck without trying to help her but it almost felt like she had known the type of shit she had gotten into and only now that she was hurt was she trying to get out. I'll never really know, but I felt like I had to keep walking and not associate myself at all. I've never had to do that before and now I have. I got about 4 minutes away when four police cars past me all going faster then I've seen any car go past me before. I knew where every one of them were going. I don't know what was going on, all I know is I was a bystander, a civilian, in something sick and sadistic. I was never really scared, I was scared the whole time and dumbfounded by the insanity, but I had my wits about me.

Seriously, I don't think I've ever experienced something so weird and bizarre. Now, I am exhausted. It's 3:15 am, I have been awake for 23.25 hours. I hope to sleep about 12, and then I can be ready for work tomorrow. I hope I didn't scare those that actually read it, but if you did read it, I'm curious if any of you have felt anything similar and have any idea how to cope. I don't think I'm scarred or anything, but it's still something I need to think about. It was weird cause I was able to help one girl from the abusive boyfriend, but not another from the local gang fight. I think I'm just glad I had the courage to stand up the first time, to counter balance the knowledge that I couldn't act the second time. The next post will be very light hearted, I promise.

The Beach

2008-05-31T14:23:00.001-06:00

I still do poetry every now and again, usually I don't share it, but I pounded this one out today and I like it. It's called "The Beach"

I look out into the ocean, at about noon or so.
I'm not sure if it's raining or it's just the wind blowing the water on my face.
I am alone on the beach.
I'm standing and yet I wish I were swimming,
it's not that I can't swim, it's that I don't know how.
People have told me how to swim, and oh boy have I tried, but when it comes down to it, the water keeps pushing me out. Walking, Running, Sprinting, even crawling

Always I end up back on the beach

So I turn around, and I try to leave the beach, I reach the sidewalk
my foot is inches away

*poof*

Facing the ocean, water in my face.
I decided to make a home on the beach.
I built the biggest sandcastle that there could be.
Since I can't go ahead and I can't fall behind I must stay inside.
But I didn't account for the tide, and my house is left in shambles.
Sand becomes one again with the beach.
And so I start to swim. I feel the water on all sides.
And I love it.

I love the water.

I want to stay with it, but the waves keep pushing me back to the beach.

Men walk past me, they tell me of times they knew to swim when the sea was calm but passed it up. I look to the ocean and find it calm, so I run as fast as I can and when I hit the water.

Wavvvvvvves.

A bottle washes ashore. Message inside, "On awesome island, wish you were here." Handwriting familiar yet distant.

So I try and I try and I try like waves crashing on the beach. Always ahead into them. Hoping one day I will make it past and towards the island.

*Poof*

Curious about where I live?

2008-05-28T18:48:00.001-06:00

Well it turns out the house I live in has a wikipedia article. It looks a lot better then the picture though. But yes, I live in the basement in a residence apartment.

Shirley Eustis House

Whoa Nelly, Public Transportation!

2008-05-22T09:06:00.001-06:00

Each day that I go into work I take about four buses to make it into work. I take four because even though it's four different buses it's faster then some of the ways which only take two. I have about a one hour commute in the night and morning taking four buses. When you take the bus you tend to see all kinds of different people, but for some reason when I'm on the 28 bus from Dudley Station to Mattapan Station, there are a more interesting cast of characters then any other bus. Let me explain with two instances in the past week.

The first comes from sunday night, I was on the phone with my good friend Freda, and I walked onto the bus, I was sitting down as a mexican man roughly 25 years of age bumped into me and started rambling in spanish very loudly. I sat down and put my feet up on the next chair so that he couldn't sit next to me but he sat in the chair across the walkway. As the bus was going he was staring at me the entire time and was non stop talking in Spanish. I mean this guy didn't take time to breathe. After a while I knew I had to do something because he was staring right at me the entire time. Finally I told Freda to hold on, I put my phone down and I looked at the man and said, "No Habla Espanol." His eyes widened, and he looked as if I had taken his entire family heritage and had desecrated it for all to see. His speech became about three times louder, he started pointing his finger at me and his face looked like he was ready to pull out a knife. I slowly got to my feet and got to the other side of the bus but the guy would not stop talking and he kept looking back at me and pointing. Finally at some stop he got off the bus, still talking and yelling, he never stopped talking except for the split second after I told him I didn't speak Spanish.

Today while waiting for the bus this guy passed me as I was sitting down, he was listening to his cd player and dancing all over the street. We got on the bus and I sat near the back when this guy came over and started singing along to his cd player, almost yelling it he said, "Pimps and Hoes, Back up yo!" Well while this is happening this lady is sitting across from me, she laughs at him doing this and then looks at me seriously, I've got my headphones on and I wasn't really paying any attention. Well she suddenly opens up her wallet and pulls out a dollar bill and extends it to me, I shake my head no but she looks insistent that I take it, so I do, then she goes back into her wallet, pulls out four pennies and gives those to me too. Then that was her stop and she got off the bus, I still have no idea why she gave me the money. So back to the man with the cd player, he takes her spot on the bus and looks at me and says, "Hey you look like Larry Bird." Thanks I say, then he goes back to his song, and sings along again, the best part was when he pulled out his beer in a bag, drank it, put it back then sang, "I'm fryin' my dough and puttin' it on the grill." Then he made motions of himself taking meat and putting it on the grill and he made sizzling sounds. He kept singing to his songs which had some very interesting lyrics from what i could tell of what he was singing.

Both of those occurred on the same bus, however I do have one more story which did not happen on that bus but which does have to do with crazy people I encounter. I was near Harvard looking for this bus that apparently goes from Harvard to Dudley Station which is near my apartment, people had told me it only takes 20 minutes (which it does, it's super fast). But I first needed to find the stop, the madam in the station told me it had to be moved to the corner of brattle and evans. So I went up top and found the end of brattle but I couldn't find this evans. So i decided I needed to ask some people, the first guy who passed looked almost bug eyed but I asked him anyways I said, "Excuse me, do you know the area?" He didn't reply, "Look if you know where Evans street is just point the way. He looked up and stared at me as he passed. He was a puny little guy so I didn't feel like complaining would do me any harm so I said, "Hey thanks, the whole not talking really helped." So I turned back to see if anyone else was passing by when the same guy circled around me staring at me without saying anything, I gave him a weird look and then he circled me again, and I said, "You need anything?" and then he stopped circling me and walked off. Really, there have been some interesting people I've met out here, and all while riding the ol' public transportation.

Oh Yeah, that's why I work there.

2008-05-21T18:01:00.000-06:00

I was having a particularly tough day at work the other day, the kids were tough, my coworkers were especially nosy that day and I was given all the paperwork to do by myself. I had been doing a project which was taking 2 hours to finish and with just ten minutes to go the link broke and I had to start over again. I was feeling close to throwing up and I was not in a good mood. So imagine how miffed I was when I got the call when the kids woke up that they were moving me to another division, one in which I had never worked in before. I am sent there and when I arrive the other two quickly give me my group and without telling me their names or anything I need to know about them they tell me to get to work. So I try to figure out their names and get them going but clearly two of them aren't moving and I still have to handle the other two at the same time. Somehow I'm able to survive until I am told that two of the kids need constant physical attention and to somehow keep an eye on the other two. Once Breakfast rolls around none of the chores are done and I was just able to get them clothed enough to go to Breakfast. We get there, and I am contemplating calling in sick the next day and on the verge of tears. I've been given one of the hardest groups in the school without even knowing their names and left alone to do it all. I finish my breakfast and they seem to be pretty capable of eating themselves so I put my hands in my face and breathe a big sigh trying not to break out in tears. When suddenly I get tapped on my hand by another hand, I look to see it's one of the kids, he's tapped my hand and is giving me this big smile and looking at me as if he wants me to smile. I do and he smiles even bigger and claps and then goes back to eating. Now I'm trying not to cry out of joy for this kid who could see I was troubled and wanted me to be happy. Suddenly the rest of the morning with those kids was fine, we took it slow and steady and I kept a smile on my face and the kids all responded well.

I've worked with autistic kids for so long I had forgotten how sweet they can be when you least expect it.

Oh Landlord

2008-05-13T18:43:00.000-06:00

My landlord lately has been doing some funny things. For those that don't know, we turned my room from a living room into an actual room, all that was required was putting in a fourth wall. My landlord who is not versed in the ways of home building has been trying to be the authoritarian on the subject. I too don't know many things on making a home, but I do know some simple rules, rules in which my landlord seems to want to break. The guy came in today to put in the door to my room, he came in with a perplexed look and said, the landlord wanted the door to swing into the room towards the bulk of the room and not towards the wall. Have you ever seen a door not swing towards the wall but swing into the middle of the room? I told the guy that didn't make any sense and he agreed with me, but said the Landlord was the boss. After talking with him for another 5 minutes on why it would be the worst idea to follow the landlord, he decided to instead do it the way I wanted and swing it outwards in the hall and to the wall. Hopefully my landlord doesn't create a huge fit. But now I finally got something in ways of the wall the way I wanted. Hooray!

Maine: This past weekend

2008-05-01T09:56:00.000-06:00

As I was driving along the Maine turnpike I looked to the side of the road and saw a car stopped with it's emergency lights on. The passenger side door was open and just a little ways down the road was a man with a paper bag puppet on his hand, speaking to the puppet.

I was able to go back to Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont for the first time in 4-5 years this past weekend. I spent three days up there. I first headed to my Derry New Hampshire where I filled the car up with gas. Then I continued on to Vermont. I stayed there a couple of hours then drove to Ellsworth Maine where I stayed with my friend Terry for two days, and then on the last day I visited a couple of people in Machias and surrounding cities and then drove home. Overall it was a fun trip, it was interesting as I would see things which would bring back memories I had forgotten. For instance...

I took exit eight in Vermont and suddenly remembered the last time I had taken exit 8. There were six missionaries in the car at the time, I was in the back seat. We had just attended a zone conference and as we were getting off exit 8 we noticed a man with a full beard and his pants down peeing on the side of the road. We all had a hearty chuckle when one of the guys called out, "Find a bathroom" at which point the old codger flipped us off.

Good weird memories came flooding back. Ones which you wouldn't remember unless a specific part of the road made you remember or perhaps a gas station in Derry New Hampshire in which you remember the clerk looking at you and clearly saying.

"Jesus is my Dog Yo!"

Overall it was a good trip and there were some beautiful sites to see. In fact here are some pictures.

11:30 on a Tuesday Night

2008-04-23T01:57:00.000-06:00

I was heading home from a good ol' time at a friend's place in Cambridge Mass this evening past when as I was leaving I came to realize I had not been to the facilities in a good long while. Being as how I was already a bit down the road from said friend's house I didn't really want to head back, however I have found it notorious in Boston so far to have no pubic bathrooms anywhere. There are none in any bus station, all stores do not have them even if you offer them money to use it. No can do, store policy. Well tonight I was at Harvard square thinking about just getting on the train to head home when I thought about going around the block and seeing if I couldn't find a bathroom somewhere. I found myself in an alley way that was under construction, I didn't see any stores around so I was about to go back to the street when I heard the most serene sound of a lone harmonica resonated through amazing acoustics of the alleyway. I decided to investigate and I found a homeless man with a push cart, he was blowing an amazing tune into his harmonica as a college student hippy kid strummed along with his guitar. I decided to sit around and have a listen. I sat in the road and listened as these two musicians played the blues together. The Harmonica man would play and then drop his harmonica and sing the blues. I put my bag behind my head and I lay down in the street looking up at the starry sky, just thinking about life as two random musicians played the blues together in the middle of a really well acousticed alley way. After they played for a bit they stopped and we talked about this and that, the man with the harmonica has encountered the boy strumming his guitar and asked if he could play with him. Neither had seen each other before. For but a moment, or maybe around 5-10 minutes, I was able to find a truly serene moment in an otherwise busy city. I hope next time I too will have an instrument to play.

Thought of the day

2008-04-13T12:56:00.000-06:00

"Don't give up just because now it doesn't look right."

Sigh

2008-04-12T21:24:00.000-06:00

Today I had my first really big case of homesickness. I mean it's better that I'm out here. I'm eating better, I'm exercising more, I'm losing weight, I'm independent, have a god job and overall I'm happier then usual. But man I miss my friends right now.