Thursday, April 23, 2009

Free Chair

I had an interesting day today. I sometimes get to the point where I want each day to matter for something. I know something big is coming up and so I'll have something to work towards. Even on other days I have a new friendship I want to try out and see if it'll work or and old friend to rekindle with. But sometimes there are days where nothing of note happens. Today started out as one of those days and boy howdy I was not happy about it. I had made a somewhat costly mistake the night before which had caused me to need to stay up extra late to get it fixed. Luckily it was fixed but by the time I woke up the next morning the whole day had been shot. So I thought I would at least try and find a friend to have fun with, but all of them seemed to be busy with something or I had felt like I had overstayed my welcome by hanging out with other's too often so I was at a loss of what to do. I drove around for a while hoping something would come up and nothing did. So I parked and I felt like walking. I walked for nearly an hour just thinking about life and how it was hard having days like that day where you really are out of control and you can't find anything of which to put forth any effort into.

But then on my walk I spotted something which gave me a great idea. It was a single chair next to a dumpster and it had a piece of paper taped to it with the word "Free" on it. I moved the chair to a corner near by and I sat down in the chair and I read a book. It was nice, the air was tasty and the temp was cool. I finished the book and a friend of mine was walking past. I got to meet their family and then I met up with another friend who's getting married soon. I pulled out my computer and decided to get some writing done. I wrote two screenplays and came up with some ideas for others I want to do. I wrote on facebook and gmail that I was sitting on the corner and that people should come and visit. Soon three of my good friends were there and we were just chatting on the corner as I sat in the free chair. When we felt like we were done I got up and left the chair there and we walked back and had good conversations before I came home for the night.

It was so nice because I had been pissed and stressed about not having anything productive and fulfilling to do and with the help of a free chair, and random wandering about I had found plenty of things to do and found that I could lure friends out to random corners just to see a free chair that I was sitting in and have some good conversation with friends. And that is the story of the free chair. I'm thinking if I have time tomorrow I might go back and see if it's there and read another book. It was a good chair.

The Greatest Day Ever

Jeff is in the living room playing video games. His friend Tom bursts into the apartment really excited.

Tom: Dude, I had the greatest day ever?
Jeff: Oh?
Tom: Like seriously, it was the greatest day ever.
Jeff: What happened?
Tom: So I went to the vending machine at school and I put it 60 cents for a candy bar and THREE Candy bars fell out!
Jeff: Okay.
Tom: Three!
Jeff: Yeah.
Tom: So, I had the greatest day ever.
Jeff: Because you paid 60 cents for three candy bars?
Tom: 20 cents each! I totally cheated the system!
Jeff: Is that it?
Tom: Is that it? Is that it? Dude, that's it, and it was awesome.
Jeff: That does not sound the greatest day ever. It sounds like something cool happened but there are so many other things which could classify as the best thing ever.
Tom: You do realize I've been incarcerated as a Prisoner of War for the past 10 years and I just got out this morning right?
Jeff: Oh yeah, I forgot, this must be the best day ever then.
Tom: Yes, indeed.

______________
This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Davey Morrison, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'The Greatest Day Ever'.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Sun

The sun rises over a really green meadow. The face of a disheveled 30 year old is inside of the sun. He sees the camera and starts to shout.

Sun: Hey! Hey! You! You with the camera! Keep me company!

The camera starts to turn away.

Off screen: I'll give you heat stroke if you don't come over here!

The camera turns back onto the sun.

Sun: Thank you, Jeez. So I guess you don't remember me. Since no one looks at me now a days, something about retinas detaching, but I'm the Sun. Did you ever watch PBS? You know that show with those furry things with tvs in their stomachs? Do you remember the sun laughing as a little child? Well that was me. They made me laugh. But whoever was the numbskull who put me in the sun I'll never know. You know how much it sucks to be the Sun? I'm a joke. I can learn things okay, I can hear you scampering around down there and I hear your languages, but you know what sucks, I have no body. No arms, no legs. I sit around all day and watch you people. It would at least be nice if you pointed a big tv at me, that way I'd be entertained like you people. But no, I have to be here with an itch on my nose and never scratch it. You know how dirty my hair is? I don't know how dirty it is, but it itches a lot.

The camera starts to pull away.

Sun: Hey I'm not done talking to you yet!

The camera runs away.

Sun: You can't run from me.

A voice is heard: Ouch!

The camera falls to the ground revealing the camera man, he is sunburnt.

Sun: Yeah take that douche bag!

______________
This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Davey Morrison, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'The Sun'.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Dream: Apr. 17

I had a dream last night where I was working for my former job, and we were supposed to take the kids to the moon. But because I had already been to the moon as a kid I didn't really want to go, plus because I remembered the first time and how sick I got on the ride there, I really didn't want to go, so I told my boss I couldn't go cause I knew I would get too sick. He finally let me not go but he seemed sorely disappointed in me that I wasn't willing to go to the moon.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Su**er

A large group is together in front of a stage. On top of the stage is a dinner table with different foods and four plates. An MC gets up as the crowd starts to cheer, he gets on the microphone.

MC: Is everyone ready?

The crowd cheers louder.

MC: Here we are, one and all, welcome to, "The Last Supper!"

The crowd continues to cheer.

Two Men and Two women get on stage they wave to the crowd and they sit down and start to eat.

MC: Now for those who are not aware, this is officially the retirement of the term supper! From now on it will always be dinner. Supper is too old a term and thus needs to be retired!

The crowd hoots and hollers.

Time passes and the foursome finish the meal.

MC: And there goes the last drumstick and yes can it be, he says he's full! There you have it folks the Last Supper! We can't ever use that word again! It's dinner now. Dinner!

The crowd starts chanting Dinner Dinner Dinner.

MC: Hooray for the conquering Dinner!

______________
This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'A Last Su**er'.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Laundromat

Short due to being in Nebraska. Zing.

1: Dude I'm going to go have sex in a laundromat.
2: With a girl you know?
1: No dude, a random chick, laundromat sex is hot.
2: Heh, good one.
1: No I'm serious.
2: Oh. Um, you know we live in Nebraska right?
1: Yeah, so?
2: And you still want to do this?
1: Of course.
2: Alright, go dig your own grave.

______________
This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Laundromat'.