Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Those 9 Deadly Words

I always seem to forget. I always have an immidiate attraction but then on the third day I suddenly remember, wait, hold on, let's think this through now. It's always that third day when I realize why I like taking things slowly. I didn't really like Otter so much today, plus she said the "9 Deadly Words." I've told some of you of these 9 deadly words, these 9 words can kill my attraction to someone in a heart beat. I always know when they're coming too, I see it right before they say it because there's a very specific look that they give off when saying it, or preparing to. I went over to her place and then asked if she wanted to watch a movie, she said she did, so I got the ol' Shaolin Soccer and told her it was Chinese, and then she said it, "Ohhh, you mean I have to read this movie?" When she said that I literally clutched my chest and fell to the ground groaning. She thought it was funny, but I finally made her watch it, she liked it quite a bit, but not enough to not say, "It would have been better in English." Another clutch to the heart. I seriously do not understand these sentiments. It doesn't make sense to me. Plus then afterwards she was being dumb and I remembered that I always fall in love too quickly without thinking, so I once again went back to my introversion and happily played video games after she left. Yay for me.

What a Otter-ous Day!

Otter Otter Otter.

I went to Poetasters today, had some fun and then as I was leaving, I was driving back to my apartment when Otter called me, she was wondering if I was going to a shindig in the ward I told her I was and then she asked if I'd come over there first and we could go together. She played with my hair, I love it when girls play with my hair. I then took her for a cruise in my car and we listened to some rockin' tunes and some really good conversation which included her asking me if I had a girlfriend and me saying no, and her saying, so am I to assume you are available, me affirming her sentiments and her saying that sounds good to me. It was great. We had a great time. I sure hope this one works out cause it's lookin' pretty sweet.

Otter Otter Otter.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

"Look at me, I'm like an otter, a sexy little otter." -Stormy on Sealab

Some cool things have gone on this week and I'm feeling good about life. Fall semester is one of the greatest things because of major upheavels in wards. I really did not like this ward when I first moved in back in January. Everyone looked at my hair and thought, now here's someone who's a psycho. I was especially pissed when I got the comment from a member of the bishopric when i cut my hair that he was glad to see that I finally decided to live the honor code. Spring and summer was a little better, some of the people left and some of the good ones stayed so I was a little happier, but there was still the same overall feeling. But now the turnover is so great, so many people have changed and I'm feeling optomistic about this ward now. Particularly in a few cases, 1. I'm now not the only guys in the ward with afro hair, now there's two of us. 2. People are actually coming by my place now that I don't live in the dungeon. Apparently people were geunily afraid of the apartment because it was so dark and dank and scary. Weird.

3. So last night was the ol' munch and mingle, I met this girl that was a film major, though after talking to her I honestly don't know how she made it into the program or why she's a film major. She said the key was to write good papers. That actually pisses me off a little bit, Shouldn't creative ability in your work count a little more then your critiquing ability. Not to say I'm not good at it, but I think that it's just not quite as important. So my roommate is getting to know this girl on the couch during munch and mingle. I don't talk to her, but she looks a little too pretty* to talk to.

*Quickly, since growing up as a nerd who was very lanky and bumbly, I immidiatly look at someone who's widely regarded as pretty and don't even think about it. Anyways, continuing on.

So today I was going to go see "Brothers Grimm" (I'll talk about it later on in this post), but before I was going to leave said girl comes over and offers us in the apartment to come over to her apartment and have otter pops. So from now on said girl shall be known as "Otter". Well the three of us went over (from now on my roommates shall be known as Frenchie, Teddy, and Touchy) being me, Teddy and Touchy. I couldn't stay for long but I gave Otter an assignment to report to me about FHE and I would tell her about Brothers Grimm. So after seeing the movie I went over and talked to her longer. After talking to her for like two hours she says, what's your number? and pulls out her cell phone, and then says, "Cause I have to call you sometime." Not often do i get someone getting my number so quick. I thought that was grand. She's really cool, and really likes interesting people, which I definatly am.

Brothers Grimm was really good. If you watch it, remember, it's REALLY weird. It's one of my favorite directors Terry Gilliam who can't make a normal movie, after all he was one of the Monty Python guys. He also directed 12 Monkeys, Brazil, Jabberwocky, Adventures of Baren Munchousen, and Time Bandits. So that's all I'll really say, be prepared for a weird movie.

So now I'll tell you a bit about my roommates. Frenchie is the most annoying of the roommates, he's engaged to some french girl and all they do is speak in french and dance around the apartment. He's alright, but he really likes making fun of people littler then him, so I like being the intimidating roommate with him, he can't seem to figure me out. Teddy is a former football player who is really sweet and mild mannered. Just a nice guy all around. And touchy is that guy in every ward who comes up behind girls and starts giving them a shoulder massage, even if he doesn't know her. He always makes really horrible flirting comments such as- Girl-"I just baked cookies, be careful they're hot." Touchy- "No, I think you're hot." Captain we have Creep Factor 10.

The other thing that makes me really happy is across the street are four girls in whom I am quite good friends with, and it makes me happy to know I have a place of solitude with them. We watched Ong-Bak together the other day. I mentioned this movie in the my second post ever. It's a Thai film, and one reason why I really like these girls is I wasn't the one who said we should watch the movie. It was actually BAWB's cousin who is also there quite a bit, a good fellow he is. He has an awesome apartment, probably one of the coolest in Utah that I've seen. It's a tangled web though, BAWB's cousin is ex-girlfriends with one of the girls in the apartment though they're still really good friends, and she is the sister of some girl in Montana that I fancy. The apartment is great though, I even have a space in the fridge which is sweet.

I picked up the new Fatboy Slim cd this week called Palookaville. I must say that this is one of the most funktastic cds I've picked up in a while. Such a good cd. Much different then his stuff before. It also includes a funktastic version of "The Joker" with Bootsy Collins of Parliment fame. And when I say this cd is Funky, I literally mean it exudes Funkness Factor 10. For those that don't know what "The Joker" is, it's the song that starts off with "Some people call me the space cowboy."

Things seem to be picking up, plus my mom is making a major push on my dad to help me get camera and final cut pro this week. So hopefully the next post I make, I may be asking to see if anyone wants to be in some movies.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

"I didn't want to play the game!" (Applause)

Warning: Triangle stuff ahead, may be confusing and may induce vomiting, be forewarned.

I've been a little red lately, at least what i think of as red. I've been making comments to people while knowing that the reply or how it is taken by the person who hears it may be and probably will be taken badly. I think it's by my ever growing feeling of really not wanting to play the game and just being blunt with people even if it may hinder our relationship, even if I really treasure it. I've always been of the thought that I mustn't say things that will offend, even if in the long run it would help out my cause. It all started on the disney trip when I quite literally had to tell my grandmother off. It continued when I was sick of a friend's attitude and called her out on it and said, screw the friendship if needs be, I'm just sick of you being such and such a thing. I'm especially finding that I'm beginning to do this if I know the person thinks of me as just another person that could come and go and they wouldn't really care. I'm finding myself really wanting people to tell the truth and to be upfront about it. I'm entirely sick of "playing the game." I've played it for too long. Maybe it's also myself trying new things. {Triangle part} As far as the triangle is concerned I know from experience that i definatly grew up green, got sick of it, changed myself willingly to yellow, found orange to be stinkin' sweet so I tried it a bit too. Thought blue was pretty cool too, did it as well. Then someone said maybe I was a white, because I keep doing all the different attributes of the different colors, and now I'm trying red out. {/end triangle part} Anyways, that's how I'm feeling and so I'm doing it. I even blogged myself as red on someone's comment section today. I won't say where and many people reading this may not even know where this blog is, so don't go looking, unless you really really want to. But I was really somewhat pissed, but also feeling that this person had more intellegence then i gave them credit before so I turned red and smacked my thoughts on the table and said, here, read this. Maybe this person may never talk to me again after this, maybe not, but I really somehow didn't care about that consequence, I just wanted it to be out on the table because, dang it (everyone say it with me) "I didn't want to play the game!" (appluase) So maybe the B-Man can help me know whether it really is a red thing for me to do something like that or not.

{General Shout to the Masses}
I think it may be a part of me that really wants to be assertive and say to people, even though I may not look it, I have a lot of depth, I know what i'm talking about in most situations, I can see right through your hidden signs or signals, so don't take me lightly and throw me away, because I have something to me dang it. And sure I have some attributes that aren't considered to be good, but you know what? You do to. So just cause mine are more visible doesn't mean I don't understand the ways of the universe. I can give you some insights you never thought possible dang it. So there. {/Jerkface Rant}

I'm just overall sick of that general feeling of someone looking at me and thinking, this guy doesn't really know anything, he's grown up in Provo most of his life, he doesn't know what the real world is like. Because maybe, just maybe, I know more about it then even you do. So there.

{Quick humorous comment to make you think that I didn't really rant just now, and make you laugh so you think I'm really a funny fellow.}

I made a humorous comment today. I said, "I took a poll to see if I was cool and it turned out I was cool." To which ML said, "You know you can't poll yourself one hundred times don't you?" To which I replied, "The crazy thing is I did poll myself one hundred times and somehow it came out 60-40."

{/end quirkiness}

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Mia Vita di Pazienza, e il Strumentazione Internamente

I remember back to tenth grade. Back then I was a nerdy fellow, still 6 foot 4 and skinny as a bean pole. I had started to find that writing was an incredible outlet into my thoughts. Music however has always been able to get my mind thinking about the incredible. I found that I could write magnificent stories by listening to music. There was a band however that just brought it out in me, for some reason their amazing blend of music to lyrics somehow was able to put me into a haze of emotions. The band I speak specifically of is called "The Urge"

For those that know me, they know my music is a huge part of me, but that you can find almost every style of music in my cd collection. You can also find many many things that I garauntee you've never heard of before. The Urge is one of those bands that blend such conflicting styles and are somehow able to make it work where so many others have failed. It's a hard rock band with horns. Imagine Metallica meets Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and they have a bastard child that listens to the Wu Tang Clan and Less Then Jake, and you have The Urge.

Somehow by listening to this band I was able to channel my energy into words and write things that I didn't think I was capable of. The first song on their first cd was somehow able to do the trick the most. Here's a sample of the words.

my mind draws a blank
try to collect my thoughts
an open hole of nothingness and loss
i've got no memory

(then later in the song)

another confrontation
of useless information
an open book with the pages torn
from the bind
a plane of lonliness
inside my thoughtless mind
i can't think
no concentration
about a thing
can't find that missing link
sick of this confusion
i can't think

Pretty odd how a song about not being able to think made me think so well. Yet somehow it helped out immensly.

My senior year a Poetry class was offered that year. I quickly took hold of the opportunity to write poetry. After writing crazy stories I thought poetry could help me speak in other weird ways. Once again, it was through music that I was able to write ballads and make sonnets that I felt were the best I could do at the time.

The reason why I've written this is because I realized why I've had such a writer's block lately, it's because I've forgotten to listen to music while writing. I purchased a cd today. It's called "Francis the Mute" and it's by "The Mars Volta" I put it in my cd player about an hour ago and I was blown away. Holy crap this an amazing cd. It's an amazing attempt at something new. Here's a band that started as a band called "At the Drive In" which was a punk band. But they decided they needed to try something more. This cd they use Italian (I think) and make it in the same way as a classical cd. The back of the cd looks like this.

1. Cygnus....Vismund Cygnus
a. Sarcophagi
b. Umbilical Syllables
c. Facilis Descenus Averni
d. Con Safo

And that's just the first track. it's really quite amazing. I had written the anecdote below and then started listening to the cd and immidiatly felt that I needed to write out my thoughts. As I was listening to the amazing ballads I read about Toasteroven's trouble with a Zambanian. I got pissed along with him. I read BAWB's emo post and felt the music guide me through his thoughts. I read Tolkien Boy's year in review. You get the idea. Somehow the music gave it so much more power, so much more meaning. Like these were things people needed to say, things that needed to come out, things that helped us and help us understand who we are.

I sit and wonder what my life is.
How has my life culminated to this point?
Why is it I feel like my life is in Limbo?
My life is neither bad nor good.

I know what I want to do with my life.
I know how to accomplish it.
I know what i've done
I have no regrets.

And yet people would make me think differently.

My life sure has been interesting up to this point, and yet I'm not feeling quite enthusiastic about the next part of my life, but what's odd is I'm also not feeling unenthusiastic about it either. It feels like a void of reason. Do I understand patience to well? I've had to learn patience in almost everything I do. Somehow the answer always seems to be, you need to be patient. And somehow I have become quite patient. I think I've become to patient, no longer do I ask the question, "Why can't I have it now?" Now I understand that I have to be patient and things will come when they come. Or that I may not get it. No longer do I feel mad that i can't have it, yet somehow, I feel like I've lost the entire meaning of patience by no longer feeling that way. I need to be impatient every once and a while, I need to be more prideful, otherwise I'll sit and watch movies all day and not do anything.

Anyways, this has been the musings of my head tonight. In other grand news, the police car is now mine. Hooray.

Humorous Anecdote

A friend shared with me a humorous anecdote this week. An elementary school class was putting on a drug free day and they asked all the students to come that day with a plain white t-shirt so they could iron on decals promoting drug safety. Well this girl didn't have any plain white t-shirts so she brought one with writing on it. The front said "Families are Forever." And when they ironed on the decal on the back, the back said, "Be Smart, Don't Start."

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Why I'm glad I'm not a teenage girl

I recently found my cousin's blog, she's 14 I believe. Just reading it makes me glad I'm not a teenage girl. Here's a sample.

"heyy okay well heres my last week simplifed i just got backk from the beach and we went w/ the farleys (ashley, chase, spencer, grant, callie)..  one day  we rented mopeds which was cool.. but chase wrecked =(  then one day when we were comming home from the pool and i was driving we got pulled over by the police cuz i ran 3 stop signs!! (im not xactly the worls greatest driver either!) haha & we did other stuff like went to the pool&beach&talked & ashley meet 2 guys!! lol and we kept on trying to get rid of one (mike or w/e) and so they stayed for 4 days and then some other ppl came!! woohoo... then today i went to church..people came over ..then went over to kaylies (cushmans) for this thing for her brother and i just got back from that!! okay well i got stuff to do!! =) <33 xxoo"

What on earth is going on here? Why has lol become a part of our common internet vancular. People say other people should stop swearing because they can't come up with other insults, I think lol is worse then swearing for this very reason. And what does it mean? Laugh out loud? Lots of Love? Lots of Laughs? Love of Lard?

What does ROMALFO mean? Or RMAOLFOLO? Or whatever it's supposed to be.

<33 ......?!?!? What is this? I've seen it all over her blog, and all over the internet too. I can't figure out what this is.

Because of my hatred of lol, I can't bring myself to tryout for I just can't do it, every time I see it I want to burn down some random hotel.

That's enough for my rant. Thoughts?

Saturday, August 20, 2005

More Brak Show Quotes

"Are you really that stupid?" -Zorak
"Oh! I dare you to stay that again, but instead replace that with, Brak, I Love you." -Brak

"Last time I was having this much fun I was face down in a pizza pie, eating my way to freedom." -Brak

Man i love sleeping, I wish I could wake up so I could go back to sleep again.

I finally gave in. I bought The Simpsons Season 5 today. It took me out 45 bucks. However, it is oh so wonderful. The only thing that is hard about it is I've seen all the episodes numerous times. But... But! Because I've seen so many episodes, I saw them condensed. Because of time length they cut repeats off by a couple seconds. So watching each episode, I find new things to laugh at. Like the evil Spider Monkeys in the Homer Loves mindy episode. It is so grand.

I didn't quite stop with The Simpsons however. I also purchased "The Brak Show" Volume 1. It is such a delicious mix of humor and extremely quoteable quotes, such as the one in the title. Now I will quote my favorite song from the episode I am currently watching.

Oh, I'm a jolly spud
and people call me bud
I live down in the mud
with all the other tubers.

What a wonderful show.

"Again with the jar, what are you doin' building a monster?.... Oh yeah, how's that going for you?" -Dad

"My heart is full of hatred and loathing, for your ugly faces, and stupid stupid clothing." -Zorak
"If my ears could talk they'd say, thank you Zorak, you have enriched us both." -Dad

Friday, August 19, 2005


I may have mentioned in the other post that i now have cabe tv in my room. The only thing I miss however is Provo cable does not have spike tv. Which means that I miss Star Trek in the mornings. I really love Star Trek, now I know that a lot of people don't like Star Trek, but I always enjoy a good Star Trek, but four good hours in the morning is even better. Star Trek: The Next Generation has always been my favorite. I really want to buy the dvds, however there was seven seasons of this show, and each dvd for each season costs about 110 dollars. That's paying abut 800 dollars with tax. That is some muco bucks. Whenever I'm home at my parents house I always find Star Trek to be the best and usually the only option to watch at 10 in the morning.

The other night we had Tiblittle, Uffish, Novel, Liebniz and her roommates over to watch the Hudsucker Proxy, I was sitting next to Uffish, and her and I have seen the movie many times so we were both acting out and saying the lines before they were said. It was hilarious. My new roommate was pretty surprised that it was me and 7 girls at the party, no other guys showed up.

I'm now working. I get about 10 bucks an hour. I had decided not to do this job again because it's a lot of stress, but I can't find anything that pays as much, so I finally gave in and decided to do it again. I work with mentally handicapped children. I've had a lot of experience with it since my brother is autistic and I've done this for about 5 years now. It's a lot of stress and it takes a lot of patience, but it's still good work.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Weathering the drought

I am finally in my new apartment, I am so excited. I spent all day yesterday moving. It's a really cool set up and I'm excited for it. I promise I'll actually write some stuff of value this week, since I've gotta go now. Bleh.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Tuesdays are the days I end up on campus now. It's called Campus Day Tuesday. Last time I was on campus, yup, last tuesday. I'm pretty excited to move into my new apartment, it's all fun and good having my own apartment, but it is sorta lonely. So I come to campus on tuesdays because of Poetasters mostly, also because it's the day that I email three seperate missionaries.

I watched all of the television show "The Critic" this week, since I bought it last week. It is a wonderfully funny show.

I seem to be in a slump, I don't have anything particularly exciting to say. I also have writer's block, I haven't been able to produce a poem or write at all in my story for about 3 months now. I think maybe I just need a change of scenery, hopefully moving into a new apartment can help facilitate that.

And I don't know if I mentioned it, I may have last week but I finished the 6th Harry Potter this week too.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Firstly I just want to say having my own apartment really is the greatest thing ever, I get to do all the obnoxious things that roommates hate, like leaving the lights on for no particular reason and getting to hang out in the front room and do nothing in particular. So until monday the 15th I've got my own place if anyone wants to stop by and chill it is open, and any dvds they wanna watch is too able to happen.

Because of this I have started packing, it always takes me a long time to pack all my stuff up, but when doing this I always end up finding things I thought I had lost. Now if I can just find that Radiohead Kid A cd.

You know, I like pictures in blogs, I would put pictures in mine but I can't do so if I'm making a post from my apartment because the image thing doesn't appear. It works if I do it on campus.

Hrm, I actually thought I'd make a relevant post. Guess not.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Donkey's say HEE HAW

So it looks like I'm starting with this. Each week i write two emails, both to missionaries. At least i try to, now since I haven't really been on a computer since last tuesday, I've got a lot to cover. But I don't know if I'll do it all here. Anyways, here's my past week.

I am the luckiest man alive. Since Sunday of last week I have acquired for free, some golf clubs, a computer with monitor and printer, a television and a table. All for free. Yeah, it's pretty dang sweet.

I went to a family reunion saturday morning. It's the fairbanks in the west reunion. Basically anyone who is a decendent of John Boylston Fairbanks, my Great Great Great grandfather. So that was fun. That night I went to Tiblittle's party and got hit with a muscle spasm attack, now since I've been having them since 7th grade, they don't seem weird to me, but I often forget that people don't know that I have them, so lying on the floor and twisting my body in all different ways to stretch out the muscles so they'll stop killing me, though not weird to me, can be weird to other people. It's like how most of the people I know now, have never seen me with glasses though I lived 12 years of my life with glasses every single day, so it's weird to think, this person never saw me with glasses. Now you may ask why I have these uscle spasms, well basically I grew from 5 foot 3 to 6 foot 3 in the matter of about 4 months. It made everything in my body go out of whack, so usually when it happens I'm at home and can spend a half hour getting rid of it, but those few times it happens in social situations, it really stinks.

I bought two items off my dvd list today. I got the complete series of The Critic and I got the japanese movie Zatochi. I'm really glad I got them, and at good prices too.

My roommate John moved out on Saturday, which is exciting because now I have the whole apartment to myself until I move out on the 15th. It's really nice to have an entire apartment to yourself. So parties need to go on at my place in the next two weeks.

Congratulations to Optomistic who became a board writer this week. He's a fellow in my ward, and so it's funny to see him and make jokes at him. There are a couple of board readers in our ward who know he's a writer now, so it's all in good fun to make fun of him.

So I had an interesting sunday, I went to a much and mingle and had a really fun time with ML (see last post). Basically it turned into me making fun of her, her laughing really loudly and everyone laughing. It was great, I made the comment to her at one point, "You know why it's so easy to make fun of you? Because I know there's no way we'll ever date." She replied with, "I hate it when people say they'll never do something, you never know whether it'll happen." We got off the subject cause I made fun of her more and then later she brough it back up and told a friend this conversation and then she said, "Of course I'd never date him," and I said, "See! You just porved my point!" Then she realized she had said it and everyone started laughing again. It was great. Now some people when they laugh uncontrolably have this weird kind of laugh, well she's no exception, her's is a hiccup/squeak, it sounds like the HEE of a donkey's HEE HAW. So when ever she did it, I replied with HAW! It was great.

I also had a great philisophocal conversation the same day with Huntsman and my FHE wife. It was really interesting, it ended with me asking her if she would always make sure to tell me when she was having PMS so I wouldn't say anything for a couple days so I wouldn't offend her. I thought that was grand.

I'm now 150 pages into the new Harry Potter, I finally got a copy from Optomistic, and the thing I can say, is I'm definatly relieved to find it's not like the 5th book, that book was just a whole lot of pent up rage and it made me angry to read it, this one isn't like that, which makes me happy. Now don't say anything about the book past the first 150 pages, I don't want anything ruined.