Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Pie to the Face

I had an incident last night. At FHE it was three groups combined. I'm an FHE dad but I've always hated the calling. The first time I had it was my freshman year and I skipped out on that group to go to another group. Now I usually like just skipping out on FHE entirely. My co-group leader or wife or what have you can be very physical sometimes and I know she could beat me up. For those that know me, not too many people could beat me up, but she could. So I go often times just because she'll beat me up if I don't. Cause she doesn't want a dead beat husband. So anyways she organized this three group thing and who happens to be in one of the groups but one of my arch nemesises. I have about 5 arch nemesises, and this girl happens to be one of them. From now on we'll call her the Mother in Law. Or ML for short. She's not really my Mother in Law but she says she is, so thus the title. ML and I have a running rivalry to play pranks on the other person. So after FHE ended and we were on the lawn eating cupcakes I threw my water bottle at her. She threw it back at me and then I threw it back at her. She looked up and said, "Out of my Christ-like attitude I'm not going to throw this back at you." So I picked it back up and threw at her again. Well this time she reared back and threw it hard and I ducked and it went in the bushes. Quick side note, I'm moving into a new apartment for fall, but it's in my ward so I already know all my roommates. So future roommate sees that ML has thrown this bottle into the bushes and says, "ML, that's not very nice you need to go pick that up." She tries to plead her case and then he goes to fish it out as she protests saying I have to do it. He grabs the bottle then puts it in front of her and tells her not to do it again. Now obviously this is quite funny to me, so I laugh quite a bit. So she gets up with a gleam in her eye and runs to grab a cupcake, then she smiles at me and moves in closer.

Stop! Freeze!

Now that you have that moment etched out in your mind, ponder on it. Someone has a cupcake and is eyeing you. They want to do something devious. What are they going to do and what are you going to do about it.

Now before we go on, let's go back about three and a half years. I was a freshman in the dorms at the time. I was having a lovely afternoon in the Cannon Center with a couple of people from my ward. We were having a delightful conversation about people's names in songs. Such as how Boston has a song called Amanda. So Amanda was happy to know she had a song for her. Well Lindsey and Kristen weren't too pleased. They couldn't think of any songs for themselves. Now Kristen and I had the same sort of relationship that ML and I have. So I suddenly say, "But Kristen there is a song that has your name in it." She asks me what it is and I sing her a lovely song from my youth.

The Patrick Theme Song

Who's dumber then a monkey
and fatter then a horse
Patrick, (hit hands to knees in a drum beat fashion)
of course.

Yet this time I replaced Patrick with Kristen. Obviously killing the true meaning of the song, yet using it for my advantage. Kristen looked at me with this glare in her eye. She had some pie on the her plate. She picked up the pie and then looked at me deviously.

Stop! Freeze!

What would you do in this situation? Think about it, I'm sure most of you haven't had a pie in your face. So what would you do?

Now back to our story. Kristen then slowly put the pie in my face and I didn't flinch. I just took it. She took the plate off and started laughing and I sat there with no movement, just looking at her with pie all over my face. Then when she least expected I went in to kiss her. I didn't kiss her though, just rubbed some pie gunk on her face.

Now let's fast forward three and a half years. Once again I'm put in the same situation. I've had a pie in my face once before and it wasn't the most pleasant option. This time I have a lot more room to move around in and I can easily get out of the way if needed.

Now what do you do? Having already experienced it, what do you do this time?

Well this time, I did the exact same thing. I sat there and took it. Cupcake right in my face. Right on my nose to be exact, she let go and the cupcake stayed hanging on my nose, my eyes and mouth were exposed. I could still see and could say things. She couldn't believe she had done it, it was like fulfilling a life long dream. Somehow the cosmos were in order that day for her. She had accomplished the one thing that would align the stars. It was quite funny to see. Eventually I pulled the cupcake off and went and washed up. I smelled chocolate the rest of the night. I couldn't smell anything else, just chocolate.

Luckily however when I was washing up I found a balloon near the sink. So once again, now it's her turn to get me back.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Random Title

This week I went to a Galactic concert. It was really cool cause it was part of a free concert series in the middle of Salt Lake City, usually I'd end up paying 20 bucks to see these guys as I have before but it was cool to know it was free. Now when it comes to jam bands like Galactic, a lot of the stuff they do is improvised, so they play well depending on how the crowd is reacting. The second set and on the crowd was going nuts! It was amazing, the band started playing better and then they did an encore and then they did another encore cause the crowd was going so nuts. And then they did autographs. I've already gotten thier autographs on one of my cds, so I had them write their name next to their favorite song from the two sets. Overall it was one of the best shows I've ever been to. I'm probably going to be going to see Keller Williams at the end of august for free there as well so anyone that wants to come is welcome. It'll be free after all.

I had a really good day yesterday, my good friend Nick called me up and we chilled, he's the guy who just got back from his mission last thursday, so because I was hanging out with him I ended up coming late to watch Into the Woods. But I had seen it before so I was alright.

I had a conversation with a bunch of random people in my ward and they started talking about the 100 hour board. It was really weird to me, cause besides people on Blue Beta I don't usually run into people talking about the board. So that was really wacky.

I didn't play frisbee today! I was too tired. It was so wacky, I always play. Oh poor me.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Nerdity at it's finest

So I've decided to hone in my review writing skills by starting up a nerd column. It basically takes my love for everything nerdy such as video games, anime, RPGs, Comics, Star Trek, Sci-Fi and all other socially nerdy things you can come up with. I just wrote my first video game review of a game for the N64 called Blast Corps. So leave your thoughts on it and you can even ask nerdy questions and I'll answer them, much the same way it's done on Red Mage's Column I especially enjoy who would win in fight stuff. So check it out. Of course this is more for my fun in writing nerdy columns and in reveling in all things nerdy! check it out here. That Nerd Guy

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Punk Kid

So I was scared the other day. A good friend of mine just got home from his mission on thursday. Now he's been a good friend of mine since third grade and I was scared of him coming home incredibly self rightous like one of my other friends turned out. But he called me saturday morning and told me he couldn't talk long cause he was going to Warped Tour. 2 days off his mission. Ah, it's good to have him back.

movies to buy

This is more for myself, just so I can have a basis on the next movies and dvds I need to buy.

Zatoichi (Takeshi Kitano) Amazon: $25:91

City of God Amazon: $21.37

Triplets of Belleville Amazon: $16.85

Metropolis (2002) Amazon: $19.43

The Critic: The complete series Amazon: 45.54

Freaks And Geeks: The Complete series Amazon: 52.49

The Office: The complete series Amazon: 44.90

The Hudsucker Proxy Amazon: 13.68

Life Aquatic Amazon: 24.74

Kikujiro Amazon: 24.26

FLCL Volumes 1-3 Amazon: 1- 23.17, 2- 26.87, 3- 24.73

GTO Amazon: 52.44

So there it is for me. Oh yes, and the creepy letter was from my singles ward mentors. I've met them once or twice, they're a fairly odd couple so I guess it makes sense.

Friday, July 15, 2005


I got a letter in the mail yesterday. It was weird cause I usually don't get mail, and if I do it's usually at my parent's house that I get mail because not too many people know this address. So this letter is about the size of a greeting card or birthday card. The handwriting looks like a girl's handwriting but there is no return address. But the postmark says it was sent from Salt Lake City. So open the letter to find a computer made greeting card that on the front cover says HUGS and has two teddy bears with a heart in between them. I open up the card to find this typed in green.


Hugging is the Perfect Cure
for Whatever May Ail You.

Hugs have no moveable parts, there are no bat-
teries to wear out, and need no periodic check-
ups. They have low energy consumption. They
are inflation-proof; and, of course, are fully return-

Hugging is haelthy. It relieves tension, combats
depression, reduces stress, and improves blood
circulation. It's invigorating. It's rejuvenating. It
elevates self-esteem and generates goodwill. It
has no unpleasant side effects. It is nothing less
than a miracle drug!

Consider yourself hugged,
and pass it along.

(Now at this point they signed their names in blue ink)

Brother and Sister Larson

So this is the letter I got yesterday. Now my number one question of the day is...
who on earth are Brother and Sister Larson?!? I have no idea who they are! I called my mom and dad to ask if hey knew any Larsons that lived in SLC or if they knew any Larsons at all, and none of us could think of any. Who are these people? How do they know me? How on earth did they get my apartment address? Don't they know that I don't like hugs? Don't they know that they used three hyphens in the first paragraph? Don't they know it's a little creepy to get a random HUG letter from someone you don't know? Why didn't they leave a return address? Who are these people?

I am so freaked out right now. Does anyone have any idea who these people could be?

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Why I hate Humanities

Every one to two paragraphs this happenes.

"Random Person (Birth-Death), whose stunning portrait of Something-er-other [14.8] epitomizes (time period style) grandeur."


"Random Person (Birth-Death), the greatest so and so of his time, makes all else look stupid in comparison."

Though most of it looks the same anyways.

And for all those Humanities people reading this, I have established that I do like Bernini. However I can not stand Velazquz's Maids of Honor painting. Who is that figure the second to the right? It looks like a 30 year old midget hangin' out with the rest of them.

Now I'll just add this on to this one cause I saw it on Sky's dealy and I like stealing things from her.

Oh right, the rules.

Post a list of the first 20 people that you think of and then answer the questions based on their number.
1. Mark
2. Joey
3. Craig
4. Sara
5. Steve, the other half of Sara
6. Sarah Ivey
7. Sarah Mac
8. Freda
9. Camber
10. Sven
11. John
12. Sam the skinny one
13. Sam The Monster One
14. Christina
15. Kayela
16. Amy
17. Kortni
18. Thelma
19. Mortshlag
20. Molly
Who is #8 going out with?: Me! Ha, no she's my date counseler though. She's not going out with anyone.
Is #9 a boy or a girl?: Girl
Would #11 and #2 make a good couple? Oh boy, consider they're both guys, I'd say no, but sometimes when you get these two together they can do some pretty nutty things.
How about #18 and #4?: Both girls. No go.
What grade is #17 in?: She's a junior in college now I think
When was the last time you talked to #12?: 2 sundays ago, he's my roommate but he's a camp conselor
What is #6's favorite band?: anything polynesian, if it had to be american then I think funk would be her fave.
Does #1 have any siblings?: he's the 9th of 10.
Would you ever date #3?: Nope, he's a guy, but if he were a girl it still wouldn't work.
Would you ever date #5?: Nope, he's a guy. I'm not doing too well on this.
Is #16 single?: Not really, she has a missionary but she's thinking it might be through.
What's #15's last name?: Seegmiller
What's #10's fantasy?: To be a world famous film director and columist
Would #14 and #19 make a good couple?: Ha! I'd like to see that! Put the most stubborn girl I know with the protector of the free world. Ha!
What school does #20 go to?: BYU
And #1: BYU
Tell me a random fact about #11: He's my other roommate
And #3: He's been to Iraq

someone should come up with some more, and I can answer those too.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Feelin' Good Inc.

I guess my last post was number 50. Crazy.

So I am currently addicted to the new Gorillaz song "Feel good Inc." The music video and song go really well together, and I'm amazed at all the different elements that this one song has going for it. That's probably why I like it so much. Here's a link to where you can find it.


Just go down to Gorillaz and listen to the song. I'm quite addicted to it and have listened to it nearly 20-30 times in the last 24 hours.

I'm currently listening to the new William Shatner album. It's really quite good. I'm still amazed at how Ben Folds can take someone like William Shatner and help him make a really sweet cd. I finished the tv show The Job on dvd this week. It was pretty good. A funny show that I wish had more epiosdes.

This month is well on it's way to being officially the independent study Humanities month. I hope I finish it before the month is over.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Dennis Leary's "The Job" is a funny tv show

Stolen from BYUSkybluepink, who stole it from Berkeley, who stole if from feather...

A- Age you got your first kiss: N/A
B - Band listening to right now: I'm on one of my mp3 discs, but the current song is Cool and the Gang's Celebration
C - Crush: Some girl in Montana
D- Dad's name: Daniel
E - Easiest person [people] to talk to: Mark, Huntsman, Freda.
F - Favorite band at the moment: Bloc Party and Guster
G - gummy bears: So as we were watching the movie Dr. Strangelove back in high school, Mark was eating gummi bears by the handfuls. Halfway into the movie he fell asleep. Well right when the movie ended we turned on the light and he woke up with this utterly horrible look on his face, and suddenly he threw up all the gummi bears all over the floor. He sat back down, breathed in and out, saw that there were some gummi bears still in the bowl, so he grabbed a handful and started eating again. We all laughed a lot from that one.
H - Hometown: provo, UT
I - Instruments: 5 years of Saxophone, mostly alto but some bari as well. 6 months of trombone with the trigger. A little bit bass guitar.
J- Juice: Orange, no pulp.
K - Kids: They're always sticky!
L - Longest car ride ever: From Provo to Nauvoo Illinois, to Green Bay Wisconsin, To Montana and back down to Utah. Second longest, from Provo to Montpelier Virgina.
M - Mom's name: Donna
N - Nicknames: Jonio "the Studlio" "Crazy" Jon, Jerkface
O - One wish: I sure could go for a subway sandwich right now.
P - Phobia[s]: Heights
Q - Quote: "Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks
R - Reason to smile: Ultimate Frisbee!
S - Song you sang last: Guster's "Ramona"
T - Time you woke up [today]: Yesterday at 5 pm. I have been awake since.
U - Unknown fact about me: I once tried to make "Walla Walla Washington" into a cool phrase to say around your friends.
V - Vegetable you hate: Pickles!
W - Worst habit(s): Cracking Knuckles
X - X-rays you've had: Head
Y - Yummy food: Salt
Z - Zodiac sign: Saggatarius

Friday, July 08, 2005


What a day I have had today. Wow, it was just so wacky. But first I shall start with what transpired last night. Last night I had an interesting conversation with a girl that I've come to be really good friends with. Now just for the easiest sake of those that understand the personality tests, I'm a yellow and she's a purple leaning towards red. Now I don't like the stubborn red personality but she also has purple which intrigues me. Anywho, we had a really good 2 hour conversation in which we decided that we could tell each other alot of things but there was NO way we'd ever get married because it wouldn't work out. It was funny that way. Anyways, onto what happened next. So I've had insomnia the past two nights, why? Sometimes I have insomnia so it wrecks my schedule. Last night I finished "The Office" which is a brilliant british tv show that had 14 episodes and won 2 golden globes. Such a good show.

So once again with insomnia I couldn't fall asleep until about 8 in the morning this morning. I wanted to get up around noon but did not wake up until 4 pm. So i got up showered and decided I did not want to spend any of the day in my apartment. So after calling some people and finding none of them to be home I went on over to Novel and Uffish's. Can I just say that their apartment is a nice place to just sit and relax and not care about anything. Anywho, they weren't really up for doing anything which is no problem cause I was the one who came over unannounced, which means I don't expect anyone to entertain me, I just come to see if anything is happenin' and if not then I'll head on another way. So I headed home and watched 3 episodes of an anime which I can't remember the name of right now. Then I went to juggling club. Had some fun there, did some homework in the library and headed home at 10. Anyways so still nothing much crazy going on. So then I visited with two people that I haven't really met all that often in my ward but had fun with them. Then I went to my old mission companions place. He shall be henceforth known as Huntsman, for that is his name. Him and I are great buds, but he owed me 45 bucks. So we went to the ATM and he vented his frustrations about his roommate Ray. Ray was baptized by Huntsman and later they became roommates. So after that I headed over to the Vermillion skies. I saw BAWB there and had myself a marshmellow cremosa and some cake. I read the second to last chapter of Ender's Game. Anywho, right when I was ready to leave who walks in but Ray. I guess Ray and Huntsman had a crazy argument over something and Ray was pissed. Now he had no idea I was at Vermillion Skies, he was just going to walk around to cool off and thought to come in for some water. Well we ended up talking for nearly 2 to 3 hours about all this stuff that he needed to get through, and it was exactly what he needed to hear. It was crazy. Think of the timing on that, all this happened and the day I decide to try out a cremosa I end up helping Ray sort through his problems and feel a heck of a lot better. It was really cool. So then I headed back and now I'm gonna head to bed.

But overall, all this reminded me of the importance of timing. Somehow the Lord sees fit that somehow we'll be in the right place at the right time to help someone in need. How many times have we all seen it that way? To illustrate the point I'm going to tell a story my last day as a missionary. Now firstly, I went on my mission with 2 months left before I turned 20. A late bloomer in some aspects, but I could have left earlier. So then it comes to be the last day of my mission when I was going to lose my last companion and go out with the other missionaries to the Joesph Smith Memorial in Vermont. Now, I was expecting to go there, so when my companion stole my shoelace to use for a fun little thingamajig, I didn't protest, cause I wouldn't need to walk much anyways. Now I had also let my hair out. Just a little bit, not much maybe 2 weeks of growth, but it needed to be cut if I was going to be doing any work. Since I wasn't I didn't think about it. So here I come to transfers without a shoelace and what not, not really thinking anything of it. Well since it was a new mission president he decides to try something new. He says to all of us after our companions have gone, we're going to do some tracting in town here. We'll split you up in twos and have you work for your last day. So I went with Elder "Grote" (his nickname) who was one of the APs at the time. Now as he was an AP he had to wait until every companionship made it to transfers and left, well two hadn't shown up yet. So we had to wait for quite a while. Then he said, alright, we need to cut your hair. I wasn't too pleased but I said it was fine, so we went to a barber and had my hair cut. Then we had to go back to his apartment so I could steal one of his shoelaces for a couple hours, then we had to go to the office to do something or other. So we started at 3. We were supposed to go from 11 to 6, and we started at 3, we had it mapped out where we were supposed to go and all that. So the first door we knock on we come into a family from Kenya, and teach them a first discussion right then and there. Now what was interesting was what they said as we went out the door. "You're lucky you caught us, we just got home after being out all day, and we were just about to leave right as you knocked. We were here for maybe 10 minutes if that." I never did find out what ever happened to that family, however, think of the timing on that. Big city, the fact that this was my last day, hair cut, having to wait, shoelace, all those things all rolled into one, and if we had gone at 11, they wouldn't have been there. We would have said we had done the road and no one would have gone back to do it for ages. How on earth is it that everything we do, can add up to one single point and things can work out so right. It's absolutly amazing. I feel so invigorated right now, and it's 5 in the morning. I wonder if I'll ever be able to get on a good schedule again.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

The Origin of The Mangos

Wow, I totally forgot that this is why I decided to do Mangos as my Nym. Some people had asked and I said it was many years ago and I've forgotten, well as I was looking through some of my old cds, I totally forgot this song existed until I saw it and remembered that I was listening to it when I had to come up with a new AIM screen name and thus Sixthmango was born. So here it is, from one of my favorite bands Phish.

Spasm waiter dropping to his knees, sees
Slander on wrap paper ties
Lifting up his head he feels the sunlight in his eyes

Grasp a kettle top and shoot the breeze, please
Ramble while slop scraper sighs
Tossing in his bed at night he'll dream until he dies

Operations at the sink
The dribble liquid visible beneath his troubled eyes
Feels it tilt and start to slide

Mask a pretty hopper's foot with squeeze cheese
Dangle some grape apple pies
Tranquil and serene until he runs out of supplies

Your hands and feet are mangos
You're gonna be a genius anyway

Your hands and feet are mangos
You're gonna be a genius anyway

Keeping in the tradition of posting lyrics like some other people's. Oh yes, and I added my good friend Eternal Youth of Antiquity to my links, go check out her blog. It's here. http://huizingashamper.blogspot.com/

Writer's Block

So I had decided to write out a big long post about something grand and glorious. But instead I'll tell you, I've got writers block. I can't come up with anything, not for the blog, not in poetry, not for my book. Nothing. So there.

Monday, July 04, 2005

We're the Parade!

So I did not go to the 4th of July Parade this morning, I thought I would, but I ended up being too tired this morning to go. However, I didn't miss the REAL parade. I came home last night to my roommate John and friend Enoch talking about doing our own parade that night. So what we did was we got Andrew's car, put 6 large papers on each side that spelled out PARADE, we put christmas lights all over his car and he had some final fantasy 7 music playing from his cab. Then I got in the back with my blue suit and a big orange hat, Craig got in with his Biker helmet and biker outfit, Enoch had a pinstripe suit and an old army hat, Kristen was dressed as a harlot or something like that, and Patrick was a Pirate. My roommate John was also in the back filming the whole thing. So we started at 1 am at the beginning of the parade route and there were a lot of people out there waiting for the parade. So as we went down we were all waving and shouting such things as, "Parade! We're the Parade! Look at Us!" It was so much fun, everyone noticed us and we got about a mixed reaction of joyful shouts, swearing and flipping us off, and general apathy. So we went all through the route, turned around at the round about and then went back to the begining. It was awesome. We were the Parade!

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Always have your camera with you!

I usually make it a point to have my camera with me at all times because you never know what you will want to take a picture of. Well last night after having a wonderful night with some grand peoples. And after watching one of my favorite movies, I decided to go out for a walk. Now when I walk at night it means I take my cd player and I dance. So I was dancing in the streets and when I got to University Avenue I wish I had my camera with me. Because in the street was a girl in a banana costume running through the street with a guy in a gorilla costume running after her. It was so funny! If only I had my camera!

Saturday, July 02, 2005

We have a full house tonight

Everywhere you look.....

I'm back from the trip, it was very successful and we were able to accomplish verything we needed to. Though I did not get the postcard or creosote. :( I tried finding arizona postcards and every gas station I went to did not have postcards! I usually send my mission friends on missions postcards. Blast it all. I also was never near creosote, though my dad did tell me what it is.

But yes, there's a full house at my place tonight, despite this being a 3 person apartment there are 6 people staying the night. Pretty crazy. It's getting late and thus I must hit the sack, I hope I have the energy for frisbee tomorrow.